


Worthwhile

by shiny_starlight



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-01-26
Updated: 2010-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-06 17:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiny_starlight/pseuds/shiny_starlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John loves Rodney. Rodney loves John. But then Rodney's ex makes an appearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Past Imperfect

**Author's Note:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

_New York. March, 2002._

Rodney shifted his backpack higher on his shoulder, and pressed the button for the elevator. What was taking so long? God, Jason's building had the slowest elevator he had ever encountered! He bounced on his heels little as the doors finally pinged and opened. He stepped inside quickly, and jabbed the button for the seventh floor.

He was a bundle of excitement, and nervousness. Jason, his partner of over three years, was just back from an extensive tour of Afghanistan, and Rodney hadn't seen him in six months. Jason was one of the top journalists in his field, and so was sent to cover the ongoing war in the Middle East. Rodney had been assigned to Area 51 soon after his departure, and had sold his apartment and moved Nevada. This was the first time they'd had the chance to meet up since Jason had left, and Rodney was half hard at the mere thought of Jason's laughing brown eyes and wicked smile.

Rodney had missed him more than he had thought possible. Before, they had usually been only an hour or two away by plane, but now... now they were worlds apart. Jason was heading back out there in two months, and the thought scared the hell out of Rodney. His lover had been insistent that he would be in no danger, but Rodney had seen each and every one of his news broadcasts; had taped them and practically memorized them. Jason was often in the line of fire, and Rodney hated it.

God what was taking this thing so long? He felt like he was moving at a snails pace. When the doors finally opened onto Jason's floor, Rodney practically leapt out to the lift and bounded down the hall to Jason's door. He knocked loudly, eager to see the man he loved.

Jason opened the door, and smiled broadly when he saw who it was.

"Rodney!" he exclaimed, pulling the other man into a hug.

"I missed you," Rodney whispered against his neck, breathing in deeply Jason's unique scent.

"I missed you too Rod," Jason smiled, hugging him back just as tightly. His smile faded a little and he looked nervously back into the apartment.

"Listen, um Rodney. I've got some people here from work and..."

He was interrupted when a voice called from the living room,

"Yo Watson, who is it man?"

Jason grimaced slightly and pulled Rodney into the living room.

"Hey guys. I want you to meet someone," he said. "Rodney, this is Dax Philips, Ray Dunne and Declan Hatcher," he indicated to the three men in the room. "They're part of my team."

Rodney really didn't want to have to deal with other people right now. All he wanted was Jason, as naked as possible, as soon as possible. However, damn social settings required small talk. Jason was always on at him about being... well, nicer to people, so he made an effort for Jason's friends. Just this once.

"So you are the guys responsible for keeping this guy safe?" Rodney asked as he shook their hands.

"Sure are," Declan grinned.

"Guys, this is my friend, Dr. Rodney McKay."

Rodney's head whipped around at the use of the word 'friend'.

"Friend?" he asked. Jason rolled his eyes.

"Alright, best friend. There, you happy?" he grinned. But the smile didn't reach his eyes. Instead, his eyes were begging Rodney not to say anything to dispute him.

They didn't know he was gay, Rodney realised. They didn't know. He was in such shock at this revelation that he didn't realise that Ray was speaking to him.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he asked, slightly dazed.

"I asked what kind of doctor you are. M.D.?"

"God no!" Rodney snorted, regaining some of his composure. "I'm too smart to go into that voodoo crap. No, I had P.H.D.'s in Physics and Theoretical Astrophysics, along with degrees in engineering, chemistry, quantum mechanics and French."

Rodney didn't understand what was going on with Jason, but if he wanted him quiet, then he would be.

For now.

The other three men seemed a little dumbfounded by Rodney's list of credentials.

"Wow," Dax said. "That's alotta book learning. You must have brains to burn, man."

"He does," Jason proclaimed, a hint of pride in his voice. "So much in fact that he took up his French degree as a hobby. His dad is French-Canadian, and it was always spoken in his house so he's fluent..."

Rodney slipped his backpack from his shoulder and sank down onto the black leather couch, content to let Jason redirect the conversation. He just couldn't grasp what had happened. Surely Jason must have told them he was gay, and involved with someone. They had been together for almost four years, for crying out loud!

Looking around Jason's modern, stylish apartment, Rodney suddenly realised that there was no evidence of their relationship. His own apartment was littered with pictures of them together, and his old one had been scattered with little Jason nick-knacks that he had left and that Rodney had never bothered to put away. But Jason's apartment was clean. Almost sterile. There were no pictures of them on the mantle piece, nothing of Rodney's on display. Rodney wondered why he never noticed it before. Jason's bedroom was a much warmer and more Rodney-friendly place, but the rest of the apartment? There, he didn't exist.

He let the quiet small-talk wash over him for the next fifteen or so minutes before Jason's friends made moves to leave.

"It was nice to meet you," they called to Rodney as they left. He managed a small smile and a weak "You too" before Jason showed them to the door.

Silence rang through the apartment when Jason closed the door. He rested his head against the cool timber, not wanting to have this conversation with Rodney, but having no choice. He re-entered the living room to find Rodney sitting on the edge of the couch. His forehead was resting against his steepled fingers and his elbows balanced on his knees.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" he asked Jason quietly. Too quietly. Jason knew that his lover was hurting, and that he had caused it. That knowledge twisted his gut, and he sat down in the chair opposite him. Close but not touching.

"I'm sorry," he began.

Rodney's blue eyes snapped up at him. "Sorry?" he sneered. "Sorry for what?"

"I should have told you," Jason told him.

"Oh, so you're sorry that you got caught out, but not sorry for lying about me in the first place. You're ashamed of me, is that it?" Rodney asked, standing up to pace.

"No, that's not it!" Jason argued. "I'm not ashamed of you. Anything but. God Rodney, I love you!"

"You have a funny way of showing it," Rodney told him in a small voice. He wrapped his arms across his chest and walked to the window to stare out across the New York skyline. Jason watched from a distance, knowing that Rodney needed his space now.

"Look, you know I just started with Channel Six when I was sent to Afghanistan. I was the new boy. No-body knew me."

"So you just decided not to mention a huge part of your life, is that it?"

"No, I didn't 'just decide'," Jason sank down into his chair and scrubbed his ands over his face. "Listen Rodney. This is a fact. I left the previous station I was working for, because I wasn't getting the good jobs. The big assignments. And that was because I was gay."

Rodney stared at him incredulously.

"You can't seriously believe that!" he exclaimed.

"It's true Rodney. Why do you think James Marks kept getting the big stories?"

"Um... I don't know. Maybe because he's a good reporter?" Rodney snarked.

"But I'm better!"

"I know you are, but he had seniority. It's logical that he gets the bigger stories." Realization dawned on Rodney's features. For a genius, he could be awfully slow at times.

"You think being out will damage you career, don't you?" One look at Jason's face confirmed his suspicions. It was a mixture of resignation and embarrassment.

"I don't think. I know," he told Rodney. "You don't know what it's like. It's such a male dominated environment. It's just so hard..."

"I don't know how hard it is? Um, HELLO!!! I work for the fucking US MILITARY!" Rodney shouted. "Don't talk to me about it being hard. But you know what? I don't care how hard it is. Because I love you! I even have a picture of us on my desk! But you? You can't even bring yourself to tell the people you work with that involved in a serious relationship with another man! Jesus!" he swore, taking up pacing again.

"You think I'm holding you back, don't you?" Rodney asked.

"Damnit, you're twisting my words Rodney," Jason argued.

"I am not! Don't try to deny it. You think I'm holding you back."

Jason winced at Rodney's rant, but knew he deserved it. He just hoped his lover would calm down soon, so he could get Rodney to agree to keep them quiet. He was totally unprepared for the word that came out of Rodney's mouth next.

"Choose."

Jason turned to stare at his lover. "What did you say?"

Rodney had stopped pacing and looked more determined now than Jason had ever seen him.

"I said choose. Either you come out, and tell your work colleagues that we are together, or I walk and don't come back."

Jason stared at him for a long moment. Surely he couldn't want... I mean he... but he did. One look in Rodney's baby-blues showed a depth of pain and determination that shook Jason to his core.

"You can't be asking me this."

"I can and I am. Choose."

"You're asking me to give up my career for you, is that it? What I've worked so hard to build. You want me to choose between that and you?"

"That's not it at all," Rodney replied in an anguished voice. "Don't you get it? If I can be out amongst the US Military, and still advance, then why the fuck can you be out amongst your civilian colleagues? It's not the dark ages any more. There are laws against discrimination on the grounds of sexuality."

"Laws? Oh please. They are all good and lofty sounding in the courts when they are passed. But in reality? In real life? Discrimination is just as rampant, and you know it! You gotta have proof if discrimination for those laws and proof is impossible 99 per cent of the time."

"Your career won't be over if you come out! But we definately will be if you don't," Rodney stood resolute. "So I say again, choose. The truth or I'm gone. For good."

Jason stared at the man in front of him in silence. God he loved him, but he just couldn't...

He opened his mouth to speak, but seeing the look on Jason's face, Rodney held up a hand.

"Jason, just don't. Your silence says it all." He walked over, and placed a chaste kiss on his lover's mouth.

A goodbye kiss, Jason realised.

Rodney picked up his bag, and looked into his lover's eyes one last time.

"I can't believe this is over," he whispered brokenly, before he turned and started walking away.

"It doesn't have to be," Jason said, stopping Rodney in his tracks. He didn't turn around when he spoke.

"Will you tell them?" There was so much hope in those four little words that Jason had to force the words past the lump in his throat.

"I can't. Rodney... please don't go. Damnit, I love you!"

But Rodney didn't stop. He walked out the door and down the hall.

"Well, fine then!" Jason shouted, getting angry.

Who the hell did Rodney think he was? Making him choose between a career he had dedicated most of his life to and him? Didn't he know he wasn't going to win? Damnit, why did he make him choose? Why couldn't they just stay the way they were?

"Have it your way!" he shouted to the man who was jabbing furiously at the elevator button. Rodney's hands were shaking badly, and tears fell freely down his cheeks, but Jason didn't notice through his haze of anger. "You'll see! I'll be the best, have the best, and when I do, I'll show you and make you think about what you were asking me to give up!"

Rodney finally broke and ran past the elevator, slamming open the door to the stairs and pounding down the steps.

Jason slammed the door to his apartment, and stalked into his living room. He paced like a caged animal, seething with anger. Who was Rodney to make him give up so much? Who the fuck did he think he was?

Stomping into the bedroom, Jason yanked the large framed photo of the two of them off is dresser, and hurtled it against the wall. It shattered into a million tiny pieces, but Jason didn't care. He continued on, picking up random things and throwing them against the defenseless wall, taking his anger out on it.

Finally, he slumped down against the wall in exhaustion.

Why? Why couldn't he just agree to keep quiet around his work colleagues? They could still have everything they'd always had. They just needed to be careful.

Jason sighed and rested his head against the wall. Why did it have to end this way?

* / * / *

Rodney managed to compose himself somewhat by the time he had reached the ground floor. He stepped outside into the weak early March sunlight, and started walking. He had no idea where he was going. He just turned left and started walking.

What was he going to do? Jason had been the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he was giving him up like that. He faltered several times and almost turned to go back to Jason, but he always stopped himself. No, he was doing the right thing. Contrary to popular belief, Rodney actually had a code of conduct that he lived by. And one of those codes was complete honesty. He could accept nothing less. That code had gotten him into a lot of trouble and alienated a lot of people in the past, but Rodney believed it was best.

So what to do now? He had three weeks leave from Area 51. Three weeks that he had planned to spending with Jason. But now that plan was gone the way of the Commodore 64, what could he do? He could stay in New York for the three weeks, get a hotel room and try to enjoy the city. Nah, scratch that. He'd lived in the city for years. He'd done everything worth doing. Nope, he was going to fly home and loose himself in a bottle of Vodka. That sounded like a plan.

After a few minutes, Rodney hailed a passing cab.

"JFK Airport," he told the cabbie, sitting back in his seat and closing his eyes. He carefully schooled his face into a blank mask as he stared at the city passing him by. He had no intention of ever coming back to New York ever again.

* / * / *

Three weeks later, Rodney reported back to Area 51 to continue his work on the Stargate. If people noticed he was ruder and snarkier than normal, then they didn't comment. They just stayed out of his way. So, no one noticed that the picture of Rodney and his partner that had once stood proudly on his desk was now missing. No one noticed that he no longer watched the news channels almost to the point of obsession.

No one noticed that the man was in pain.

Rodney told himself that he didn't care. He told himself that it was Jason's loss, and that if he really wanted to, he would find him again. But Jason never called, and Rodney continued to lie to himself.

What else could he do?


	2. Start of Something Wonderful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John loves Rodney. Rodney loves John. But then Rodney's ex makes an appearanc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

_Atlantis. October, 2004_

Major John Sheppard wandered down the halls of Atlantis, in search of his missing scientist. No, the missing scientist, he berated himself. Not his missing scientist. He was not having those kind of thoughts about the snappy Canadian, with his short temper, bad attitude and the bluest eyes John had ever seen....

Mentally, John smacked himself on the forehead. Who was he kidding? He was so screwed.

There were some things that John had never imagined happening to him. He never thought he'd join an expedition to another galaxy. He never thought he'd be the ranking military officer on said mission, in charge of the mixture of Air Force personnel, U.S. Marines and dozens of scientists from many different countries. He never thought he'd take for granted visiting alien worlds, and the ability to fly ships through space with the same ease and thrill as when he flew a chopper.

He also never thought he'd be lusting after a snarky Canadian physicist who managed to piss him off and turn him on all at the same time.

McKay had been unusually quiet for the past few days. And he had missed dinner in the mess hall today. That sent little red flags up in John's mind. (He refused to admit, even to himself, that those red flags were actually red and white with a maple leaf in the centre.) John told himself he was looking for the man because he was a little concerned for him, not because he was beginning to loose sleep by stressing over what could be wrong with him...

John checked Stargate Ops, but was told he hadn't been there all day. He checked the mess hall again, but couldn't find him. He checked the chair room, but that was empty. He was on his way now to Rodney's lab, where the man was probably hiding out, working on some complicated theory that John had a fair understanding of, but didn't say so because he loved the way Rodney's eyes darkened with irritation....

"Stop it Shep," he berated himself under his breath, earning himself a strange look from a passing gaggle of scientists.

When he got to the lab, he found Doctors Zelenka, Grodin, Kavanaugh and Simpson hunched over their lab tables, but no McKay.

"Anyone seen McKay?" he asked the room in general.

"He left about an hour ago," Kavanaugh answered, before ignoring John again.

"Anyone know where he went?" John asked, getting a little exasperated after five months of being mostly ignored by the scientists unless they wanted him to turn something on. John sighed. He knew just exactly who he wanted to turn on....Resolutely pushing those lovely images out of his head (for the moment) he turned to Dr. Zelenka, who was Rodney's 2IC.

"Well?" he asked.

"Um... Sorry Major," the Czech said. "He just packed up and left, after berating us all for being incompetent idiots, of course."

"You mean the usual then," John grinned.

Radek frowned a little. "Actually, McKay was a little more... McKay like than usual. He's been extra snappy all day."

"Ok, thanks," John said, leaving the lab even more concerned than before. The only other place he could think of were Rodney's rooms. He briefly considered checking in with Carson in the infirmary, but mentally vetoed that idea. Rodney was good friends with the Doctor, but he avoided the infirmary like the plague. (Whenever he wasn't a patient there, that was.)

He soon found himself in front of McKay's door. He knocked loudly, but no one answered.

"Come on McKay, open up!" he shouted. "I know you're in there!"

Ok, that was a blatant lie, but it was an educated guess. Where else would he be? He mentally groaned at the other possibilities as he remembered all the research labs they had recently uncovered, all the way at the other end of the city. John was concerned about Rodney, and wanted to find him, but really didn't relish the though of going all the way to the West Pier to do so.

Rodney sighed in frustration from where he was sitting on the balcony. Maybe if he kept quiet, the Major would go away. He really didn't want to be around people right now. The open bottle of Vodka in his hand sloshed as he moved further into the balcony in a futile attempt to make himself invisible.

"Come on McKay; don't make me break in there!" Well, the Major obviously wasn't going away.

"Fine, come in," Rodney called, mentally opening the door for the irritating pilot.

John stepped into the room, but found no sign of McKay. He heard music playing on the laptop and he was about to check the bathroom when he spied the open doors to the balcony and sauntered out.

"Hey McKay. Everything... alright?" John faltered when he saw the open bottle of vodka in Rodney's hands. Rodney was sitting with his back to one of the walls with his legs drawn up close to his chest. His arms resting on his knees and was staring at a bottle in his hands. When John got closer, he saw it was vodka.

"Just peachy Major. Now you can go tell Weir or whoever sent you that I'm fine. Goodnight."

"No one sent me Rodney," John said, sliding down the wall so he was sitting opposite Rodney. "I was looking for you because I thought maybe you'd be up for some poker."

"I'm terrible at poker," Rodney reminded him without looking at him. "The last time we played, I lost four chocolate bars to you."

"I know," John grinned. "I've been kind of craving them lately. Hence the invite."

Rodney smiled weakly, but continued staring at the bottle in his hands.

"Nice music," Jon commented, trying to start a conversation. "The Beatles?"

"Yeah. You now, for four guys from Liverpool with bad hair, they aren't that bad."

John grinned. "Only you could describe some of the best musicians on Earth as 'not bad'"

Silence reigned for another moment. "So, what are we celebrating?" he asked, indicating to the vodka. "First date, first time or breakup?"

Rodney smirked. "All three?"

"Ouch," John grimaced.

"Nah, just kidding. First date. Seven years ago today. I'm just trying to decide whether or not to drink myself into oblivion again this year."

"Bad break up?" John guessed.

"The worst," Rodney shuddered.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Are you going to go away until I do?" Rodney snapped.

Hurt flashed in John's eyes for a moment, before he slowly began to lever himself off the floor.

"I wouldn't push you McKay. Not if it would hurt you to talk about it. I thought you knew that."

Rodney looked at him. "I know that. I'm sorry," he apologized. "Please, sit down. I'll tell you." Rodney told himself that his heart did not just skip a few beats when John smiled and slid back so he was sitting down again.

"So spill," John encouraged.

"We... I..." Rodney faltered. Should he tell the Major about Jason? He would be taking an awful risk. Yes, John was his friend, but then again, he was military. And God knows that the American Military wasn't exactly known for its tolerance on homosexuality. How would the Major react?

"Um, McKay? You ok?" John asked, waving a hand in front of Rodney's face. "You kind of blanked out there for a minute. How much of that have you had?" he asked, gesturing at the vodka.

"What? Oh, none so far. What's gone was drunk during the anniversary of our breakup."

"Really? Not a lot is gone," John said.

"It's pure Russian vodka," Rodney told him smiling. "The good stuff. Almost 98 percent proof. It's strong enough to strip paint."

John whistled under his breath. "Damn," was all he could say. He looked at Rodney again, as if expecting him to start talking. Rodney sighed, and looked down at the bottle again. He took a deep breath before he took the plunge.

"I was in a serious relationship for over three years. I loved... him a lot. His name was Jason. He loved me too, or so he said. But he wouldn't admit to his work colleagues that we were together. I told him to make a choice. Come out, or I walk. I think it's obvious what choice he made."

Rodney dared to look up from his study of the label on the bottle. He'd been falling for the Major little by little over the past few months, and was hoping that the man in front of him at the very least wouldn't freak out and go all homophobic on him.

"You're gay?" John asked in an even voice.

Rodney shrugged nonchalantly, but inside he was quaking. "Bisexual actually," he answered.

John felt like screaming 'YES!' on the top of his lungs. One hurdle down. Now all he needed to do was get the scientist to notice him.

"That's cool," he answered, a small smile on his face. He grinned at the relief that flooded the scientists' features. "So, tell me about him," John encouraged. He wanted to know if he had competition.

"Jason is... was... Jason was special. We were together for over three years, like I said. He's a journalist. He had just moved to a new news station back when I moved to work in Area 51, and he was in the Middle East. When we met up again, I found out he hadn't told his colleagues about me. He said that being gay held him back in the last news station he worked at."

John snorted in disbelief. "More like he was making excuses for not getting the top jobs."

"I agree," Rodney said, smiling slightly. "I told him to choose. He didn't choose me." He tilted his head to one side, listening to the music. John recognised it as 'In My Life' by The Beatles. Rodney smiled slightly. "I love this song," he told John.

"Was it one of yours and Jason's songs?" John asked. By the blissful smile on his face, John figured it was a special song to him.

"No. Jason hated anything written after 1872. And I thought I was the one with the classical music obsession." John sighed in relief. He loved this song also, but if it was a song that Rodney shared with a lover, he didn't think he would have been able to listen to it any more.

"Do you still love him?" John asked, before mentally kicking himself. Way to play it cool, Shep.

"I suppose part of me always will," Rodney answered. "I mean, he was more to me than just a lover. He was my best friend for years. He was a huge part of my life. But am I still in love with him? No, I don't think so."

"What makes you say that?" John asked, releasing the breath he hadn't realised he was holding.

"Well, remember the fog being thingies and the fake Earth last week?"

"Vaguely," John smirked.

"Well, you got your bachelor pad. Elizabeth got her boyfriend. Ford got his family. If I had truly wanted it in my heart, I would have gotten Jason. He would have just shown up begging me to take him back."

He had a point there. Rodney set aside the bottle of vodka very carefully.

"With that in mind, I don't think I'll be needing this," he told John.

"Excellent," John said, springing up with an ease Rodney envied. "Wanna go play some poker?"

Rodney eyed him carefully. "You ok with all this?" he asked.

"Rodney," John began "Yes, I am fine with it. And yes, 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is a stupid, archaic rule, but no; you'll find it doesn't really apply here on Atlantis. Rodney, there are over 200 people on this base, about half military. There are gay couples. You don't think that Markham and Stackhouse spend all that time together polishing their guns, do you? And haven't you noticed how happy Zelenka's been lately? He's wearing the kind of sex-happy grin that Bates has had on for the past two weeks. And how about your cute assistant, Miko? She's sleeping with Sergeant Sheila Pierce, US Marine Corps. Trust me Rodney, it's ok."

Rodney couldn't help sighing happily in relief.

"Wait, Bates and Zelenka?" he asked incredulously after a moment.

John just grinned knowingly at him. A shadow flickered across his face for a second, and a determined look crossed his features.

"And then there's me," he continued quietly. Rodney's eyes snapped to his, questioning.

"I have been known to do a little swinging both ways myself," John admitted in an undertone.

Rodney stared at him. The Major seemed... shy and uncertain.

"That's cool," Rodney told him, echoing John's earlier words.

"So, how about some food, and then poker?" John asked hopefully.

"Sure," Rodney grinned. He accepted John's offer of help up. "But this time, I'm not betting chocolate. Last time, I was suffering from withdrawal for a week."

"No problem. We'll just play for coffee rations," John grinned as they headed to the mess hall.

* / * / *

A few weeks later, John found himself searching for Rodney.

Again.

And he was worried about him.

Again.

The Genii had gated back to their home world, and people were flooding back into the city now that the storm was over. Rodney had stuck around long enough to ensure the city was safe, and for one of the nurses to properly bandage his arm. After that, John had lost track of him in the confusion.

Beckett had 'suggested' that Rodney should go and get some sleep, but somehow John doubted he was following that 'advice'. He was probably off somewhere berating himself for telling the Genii the plan to save the city, working on some Ancient device and generally ignoring Doctor's orders.

He strode into his lab, and sure enough, there he was. Rodney was hunched over his computer, tapping away furiously and muttering to himself. A wave of relief swept through John when he saw him. The fear that had struck him when he discovered that Kolya had Rodney and Weir hostage went way beyond anything he had felt before. For a moment, all his brain could think was "Rodney's in danger. Rodney's got a gun on him." He'd managed to push back that fear, but the rage he had felt when he had seen the wound on Rodney's arm and realised that Rodney had been tortured for information made him finally admit to himself what he'd been trying to deny for a while now.

He was in love with Rodney, and was fairly sure that Rodney felt at least some amount of affection for him. Every since their confessional on the balcony, the two had grown closer, spending almost all of their free time together. The knowing smiles that Teyla kept sending their way whenever she found them together no longer grated on his last nerve now that all was right in his own mind.

"Rodney," John broke the silence, startling the other man.

"Ah, Major. I suspected you'd track me down," Rodney began nervously, standing up and wringing his hands. "Listen, about what I told Kolya. I..."

John effectively cut off his speech stepping forward and pulling Rodney into a bone-crushing hug.

"Don't ever do that to me again," he warned. "You scared the shit out of me."

"What?" Rodney was completely confused. But then, John was holding him close and he was so tired, and John felt so good, so a little confusion was permitted.

John pulled back, looking him in the eye. "I said you scared the shit out of me. Standing up to Kolya? Stepping in front of a gun for Weir? Put yourself in danger like that again, and I will kick your ass, no matter how much I love you."

"Oh, ok," Rodney said, returning the Major's hug. "You'll kick my ass, no matter how much you... Wait! What did you just say?"

"A little slow on the uptake today?" John grinned; taking note of Rodney's shocked expression. For a moment, he was scared that he had read Rodney wrong, and that the scientist didn't have feelings for him. But then he saw the hope dawning in Rodney's baby-blue eyes, and smiled slowly.

"I'm sorry; you can't have said what I think you just did."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I did."

"But I heard the words 'No matter how much I love you'."

"Are you being deliberately obtuse today?" John asked, grinning at the man who had failed to realise that John still had his arms around him.

"Yes but..." John rolled his eyes and cut off Rodney's new line of protestations simply and effectively.

He brushed his lips lightly across Rodney's, gasping at the shock of electricity that sparked between them. Rodney pulled back, looking as surprised as John was, before he moved forward and pressed his lips more forcefully against Johns.

John moaned as Rodney's tongue darted into his mouth, wicked and full of promise. He wrapped his arms even more tightly around Rodney's shoulders in a desperate attempt to ground himself. Kissing Rodney was an experience, just like he had fantasized about. Only better.

Both happily ignored the need for oxygen until it became a real issue, and then pulled away reluctantly. Blue eyes met green, and Rodney melted at the depth of emotion he saw in John.

"I know we'd be great together," John whispered, running a hand through Rodney's short hair.

"Are you sure I didn't get shot by Kolya and I'm dead and there actually is a heaven?" Rodney asked.

"Pretty sure," John smirked. "Are you saying I'm heaven?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Did I just say that out loud? Great, now you'll have an even bigger ego. I don't know how you're going to get through the doors with the combination of the ego and that hair."

John ran a hand absentmindedly though his hair, resisting the childish urge to stick out his tongue at Rodney's smirking features. Instead, he went into bossy mode.

"Before you try to figure out the dynamics of that, let's have a little conversation about you working when I know you are under orders to get some rest."

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. I just..."

"Got held hostage and got tortured, which I swear I'm gonna kick Koyla's ass for if he survives being shot and we ever meet again. Now, you are going to go get some food and rest if I have to manhandle you into bed myself."

"Oh, kinky Major", Rodney smirked. John rolled his eyes.

"John, Rodney. Considering I've got my arms around you, and we just shared one very, very sexy, very hot kiss, I think you can all me John," he told Rodney as he kissed the scientists neck lightly between words. "Besides," he continued "I seriously doubt either of us is up to much manhandling at the moment. Tomorrow though..." John trailed off, winking at him.

"But..." Rodney began, point back at his computer.

"No buts Rodney. Come on. Eat, sleep in that order."

"Actually, maybe eat, shower then sleep?" Rodney suggested, grinning at him.

"Hey, I was running all over the city thanks very much. I'd like to see how sweet smelling you'd be after that," John defended himself.

"Joking John," Rodney assured him as he powered down his computer. John grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the lab and down the corridor towards Rodney's rooms.

They met no one on their little excursion, which John was grateful for. He wasn't ashamed of Rodney, but he wanted to know where the other man stood before announcing it to the rest of the city. Was this going to be just a buddy fuck thing, or something more?

Rodney yawned as son as he saw his bed, and John smiled affectionately at him. He pulled two power bars out of his pocket and handed them to Rodney.

"Here, eat," he urged. "Then go on, get some rest."

"What about you?" John could hear the disappointment in Rodney's voice.

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm taking a wise mans advice," he told him, stripping off his jacket. "You don't mind if I use your shower, do you?" he asked, adding his shirt to the jacket on the floor.

Rodney felt his mouth grow dry at the sight of John's naked chest. Holy shit, the man was gorgeous!

"No, go right head," he told John, hating how breathy his voice sounded. John just grinned at him and sauntered into the bathroom.

Rodney pinched himself, just to make sure he was awake. Things like this didn't happen to him. Gorgeous air force Majors, who he was madly in love with by the way, didn't fall in love back. Certainly not the male ones! He loved John, and had for what felt like a long time. He couldn't believe that John felt the same way.

His head spun a little and he lay back on the bed. Probably lack of coffee and rest. Plus he was starving. He hadn't wanted to face the accusing faces in the Mess Hall, so he had skipped dinner. Absentmindedly, he chewed on the power bars John had given him. They tasted real enough, but then, didn't everything in dreams? It probably was a dream. Yes, that was it. Tomorrow he'd wake up and find that this was all some caffeine-deprive, lust fueled dream.

John emerged from the shower ten minutes later to find Rodney fast asleep in the bed. His clothes were thrown in a pile on the floor, and he was breathing deeply in sleep. John considered getting dressed and going back to his own rooms, but realised that if he did that, Rodney probably would think this was a dream and act all weird around him for the next few weeks and it would take John ages to get back under that armour that Rodney always shielded himself in.

He pulled the covers back, and slipped his boxer clad body next to Rodney's. He put his arm around the scientist's waist and hugged him close, just thankful that they were both alive and relatively well.

"Who knew Air Force Majors liked to cuddle?" Rodney whispered sleepily.

"Funny McKay. Get some sleep," John answered, settling down to do the same.

"Love you John," Rodney told him as he drifted off again.

John grinned widely in the darkness. Guess than answered his question about how serious he was then. He wrapped his arms even tighter around Rodney and slipped easily into dreams of his own.


	3. Dawn's Early Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

John awoke to the sensation of something warm and wet making friends with his ear. He moaned as the warm tongue traced the outline of his ear, before dipping inside.

"Morning sleepyhead," a voice smirked from beside him. In the dawn's early light, he could see Rodney's laughing blue eyes and cheeky grin as he bent his head again to attack John's ear with his teeth and tongue. John gasped out a 'good morning' before Rodney's lips made their way along his jaw line and reached his mouth.

Rodney's mouth felt like fire on John's skin He was burning under the touch; being branded. Branded as Rodney's. The scientists tongue was lazily exploring John's mouth, and John melted into the kiss. He heard a deep groan, and was pretty sure it didn't come from him. Nice to know he wasn't the only one affected by the kiss. His hand snaked down Rodney's chest and across his stomach. He heard the other man giggle a little as his fingers danced over the soft skin.

"Ticklish there, are we?" he murmured.

"Tell anyone, and even your gorgeous ass won't save you from my wrath," Rodney retorted laughingly before John's hand reached the top of Rodney's boxers and slid inside. Rodney gasped and John felt his own cock harden as he stroked Rodney's already hard shaft. Definitely affected then. His lover's hands were pushing at his own boxers and he gladly lifted his hips so Rodney could push them down.

After much wriggling and a few laughs, they were both finally naked and happy, stretched out along side each other in the narrow bed.

John admired the view before him, looking at Rodney as a starving man would look at a feast. "Mine," he whispered.

"Always," Rodney promised, and John groaned deep, kissing him again. Slowly, he reached out and ran a hand down Rodney's chest, enjoying the feel of the sprinkling chest hair brushing his fingertips. He slid his palm over one of Rodney's nipples, making it harden instantly. Rodney inhaled swiftly. It had always embarrassed him that his nipples were so sensitive, but now... now Rodney was thankful.

John's hand was moving down his stomach and over his hip, tracing his pelvic bone with light fingers. His hand slid down further to lightly caress Rodney's cock, and then slid gently over his balls. Rodney whimpered as John's hand continued its exploration down the inside of Rodney's thigh and calf.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?" John whispered, kissing Rodney lightly on the lips.

"About as long as I've wanted to do this," Rodney replied, leaning in to lick a stripe up John's neck and nibble on his ear. John shivered and pressed his hard, aching cock against Rodney's. Rodney's mouth should come with a warning label, John decided as he wrapped one leg around his new lover's hips, pulling him closer.

Right now, that talented mouth was making its way along John's collar bone, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. John shifted his hips a little so their cocks brushed against each other, and Rodney stilled in his ministrations, moaning softly at the contact. John did it again, and Rodney kissed his way up John's neck, heading for the heaven that was his lover's mouth. They kissed slowly, lazily, just exploring each other.

John's hand moved from Rodney's shoulder down his back. He loved the feel of the muscles rippling just under the skin, and his hips began to move faster. Rodney responded in kind until John's fingers ghosted over Rodney's hole. Rodney rolled them over so John was on his back, looking up at his lover who was straddling his hips.

"Ah ah, John. Not yet," Rodney told him. "I want to see what makes you scream first."

John shuddered in delight at the thought of what Rodney's amazing mouth could possibly do to him. His lover leaned forward, and kissed John lightly on the lips. He moved downward, nibbling on his chin and tracing over his Adam's apple with the tip of his tongue.

"God, love you Rodney," John gasped at the sensations Rodney was creating.

"Love you too John. So much," Rodney answered. "Wanna show you how much."

He licked and kissed his way down John's chest until he came to one of Johns' nipples. He traced it lightly with the very tip of his tongue, and John moaned. He blew on the now wet nub, making it harden. John moaned again, louder this time. Finally, Rodney took the dark nipple into his mouth, sucking hard. John gasped arched his back, moving into the sensation. He grasped Rodney's head, holding him close, moaning and panting Rodney's name.

All too soon, Rodney moved his head and continued his exploration of John's chest. He repeated the process with John's other nipple, eliciting the same response, only louder. Grinning smugly, he kissed and licked his way down the hard planes of John's stomach, dipping his tongue into John's navel. John was moaning and writhing under him as Rodney traced his hip with his tongue, before shifting back so he was face to face with his prize.

John's cock was hard and pulsing. Drops of pre-come beaded on the tip, and Rodney flicked out a tongue to taste them. John gasped and moaned, shifting his hips in an involuntary response. His hand smoothed down his stomach, and curled around his own cock.

"Please," he begged Rodney, stroking lightly. "Please, love you so much. Got to have you..." John fondling himself was without a doubt the hottest thing Rodney had ever seen, and the sight nearly made him come there and then. Somehow, somewhere, he found the strength not to and he thanked every god he could think of for that. He slid his hand down John's arm to the fingers that grasped the cock, gently removing them. He wrapped his own hand around the base, caressing the soft skin that sheathed titanium. John was making needy, gasping sounds which only increased when Rodney gently took the tip of John's cock into his mouth. His tongue teased the slit, making John's hips buck up.

Inch by inch he took more of John in, until the tip brushed against the back of Rodney's throat. He followed the instinct to swallow, and a strangled cry broke from John's lips.

"Rodney!" he gasped, running his fingers through his lover's hair. Rodney began to suck lightly and used his tongue and teeth to prolong the pleasure. He wrapped a tongue around John's cock and caressed his balls with one hand. He let John's cock slide out of his mouth before he licked a stripe down to the base. He nuzzled John's balls, licking one lightly before taking them both into his mouth. We swirled his tongue around them, and John's moans reached fever pitch. His hands twisted in the bed sheets as he gasped and bucked under Rodney. Rodney's fingers traced lazy patterns on the inside of John's thigh, and John screamed aloud. His lover quickly re-took John's pulsing cock into his mouth, sucking him deep again.

"Rodney, coming!" John gasped out a warning before he screamed Rodney's name in ecstasy and shot deep into his lover's mouth. Rodney drank it up greedily, licking his lips at John who gazed adoringly at him thought glazed eyes.

"I think I saw stars," John whispered as Rodney crawled up the bed to John. John kissed him, tasting himself in his lover's mouth, but not caring. He traced his hand down Rodney's body until he came to Rodney's hard shaft.

"That's gotta be uncomfortable," he murmured cheekily as he wrapped a hand around it and began to pump. Rodney moaned and moved his hips with John. John shifted so Rodney was lying on his back with his hands wrapped around his shoulders. Rodney held him tighter the closer he came to climax. John slowed the rhythm of his hand until Rodney was begging John to bring him off. He increased the speed again, and with an inarticulate cry, Rodney came, shooting his seed over John's hand and thighs. John held him as Rodney convulsed and cried out his name, one hand buried in John's hair. He raised his own hand, and licked it clean of Rodney's cum, his eyes never leaving these of the man he loved.

At that moment, John Sheppard realised two things.

1) Rodney tasted even better than John had fantasized about. And...  
2) There was no way in hell he was ever letting the blissful looking man beside him go.

Ever.

Panting and sated, the two lay back on the bed, arms wrapped around each other. John looked into Rodney's baby-blue's and saw nothing but love shining through. Rodney wrapped his arms tighter around John and lightly touched his forehead against John's in the Athosian symbol of affection and respect.

"That was..."

"Incredible," John finished for him when Rodney seemed lost for words. Rodney smiled shyly at him.

"Talk to me?" he asked.

"Talk to you? What do you want me to say?" John was confused.

"I don't know. Anything. Just talk, and hold me," Rodney asked.

John smiled affectionately at him. "Who would have guessed it, huh?"

Rodney furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Guessed what?"

"That you, Doctor Rodney McKay have a romantic soul."

"I think some people would find it hard to believe that I have a soul at all," Rodney told him wryly.

"Well, it's their loss," John told him, settling into Rodney's arms. He rested his head on one of his lover's arms and slung his own arm over Rodney's chest and his leg over Rodney's thighs. "Well, about me. I like college football, Ferris Wheels and anything that goes more that 200 miles per hour."

"Isn't that the same line you gave Teyla when you first met her?" Rodney smirked.

"Hey, if it works, go with it," John replied scowling slightly, and silently cursing Ford for telling Rodney what he had said. (Because he just knew it was Ford.)

"It's ok John. It's nice to know I merit the same pick-up line as the leader of an Alien Race," Rodney laughed. "Ok, so... back to you."

"Okeydokey," John grinned. "I always wanted to fly," he told him.

"That much I figured out," Rodney remarked.

"Hey, do you want to hear the fabulous life story of the amazing-in-bed- Major John Sheppard or are you going to keep interrupting me?" John asked him and Rodney laughed.

"I apologize. Forgive me, oh amazing-in-bed-one."

"That's better," John mock-glared at him. "Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I always wanted to fly, and that's why I loved Ferris Wheel's so much when I was a kid. It felt like flying, you know?"

Rodney shrugged. "I've never been on one," he admitted.

"You've never been on a Ferris Wheel?" John gaped. "Your parents never brought to a theme park or funfair?"

"John, my childhood was... very different from yours, I'm sure," Rodney told him seriously. "I've heard you talking about your parents and you talk about all the happy times you had. I didn't have that. My parents hated each other, and blamed me. When I was a kid, I wanted to play the piano. I practiced... so much and for so long. I spent hours a day on the piano. I didn't get to go to funfairs or theme parks. I didn't play soccer or rugby down in the park. I practiced. Then, when I was twelve, my piano teacher told he to quit. He said I had no soul for the music, and that I was a fine clinical player." Rodney had been aware of John's grip on him tightened as he spoke, and he was glad. He didn't tell this story to everyone, only people who he admired and trusted. Jason had known. Obviously Rodney had told him, and he had also told Colonel Carter, but that was it. He was grateful for the support that John was silently giving him simply by holding him. "My genius level I.Q. was 'discovered' when I was six. My parents wanted me to become a scientist, but I loved the piano. When that fell through, I fell back on physics. So, instead of practicing all day, I studied."

"All the time?"

"All the time," Rodney confirmed. "How else could I have dual doctorates in Physics and Theoretical Astrophysics by the time I was 21? How else could I also have degrees in engineering, chemistry, quantum mechanics and French by the time I was 25? I've worked for the US government in one way or another since I was 23. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't spent so much time working."

"But you never had a childhood," John protested.

"True," Rodney admitted "But look at it this way. If I'd never done all that, I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't have you."

"Ok, you have a point there. Still, it's not very fair. Tell you what," John said brightly, "I promise you, if we ever get back to Earth, I'm taking you to the best theme park I can find, ok? We'll do all the things you never got a chance to. Basically, just spend the day goofing off. Deal?"

"John, you don't have to," Rodney told him but he was secretly happy that someone would care enough to say he'd do it.

"I know. I want to," John smiled.

Rodney tightened his grip on John. How he loved this man!

"So, tell me more," he asked John.

So John talked and Rodney listened as the sun crept higher in the sky.


	4. No Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People find out about John and Rodney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

He must have dozed briefly, for the next time John opened his eyes, the sun was glaring and Rodney was smiling down at him.

"Hey," he whispered, pressing a light kiss to Rodney's throat.

"Hey yourself," Rodney replied, still smiling.

"Someone looks smug," John laughed as he ran possessive hands over his lover's chest.

"I'm always smug," Rodney retorted, leaning into the caress.

"I know, but you seem extra smug today, for some reason. I wonder why?" John whispered before his sharp teeth found a sensitive earlobe. Rodney gasped at the touch and struggled to find a suitably sarcastic response. He failed miserably and turned his head to kiss John. John smiled happily just before Rodney's lips descended, closed his eyes and surrendered himself to the sensations.

Rodney groaned. "John... John... John... as much as I love what your tongue is doing in my ear and God how I love it... We have a meeting with Elizabeth in half an hour. That's why I woke you."

"Oh yeah, the whole Genii/post-storm thing. How's the arm?" he asked, leaning back and gently lifting the limb in question.

"It hurts," Rodney admitted. "Carson gave me the good drugs, but even they wore off after a few hours."

"I can't believe you moved around and leaned on it so much last night without the pain meds," John told him, his eyes amazed. "It must have hurt like hell!"

"Well, I was kind of motivated," Rodney grinned. "Come on, get dressed. I still have to have a shower, and you defiantly need a shave. We don't want stubble burn, do we?"

Rodney's smile faltered a little as he pulled on his boxers, stood up and went into the bathroom to shower, but John didn't see the slip. He was leaning back in the bed, his eyes closed and a tranquil smile on his lips.

Rodney closed the door, and leaned against it. Last night hadn't been a dream. It had actually happened, and wow, he was happy it did. He adored John, and he now knew that John felt the same. But still, his mind was troubled.

He had broken up with Jason because his lover wouldn't come out in work. Now he was sleeping with an Air Force pilot. Don't Ask, Don't Tell was a stupid ass rule, but it was still a rule. One that John had to obey. They could never be openly together. The fact that he was willing to be with John in secret showed just how much he loved the other man.

It also told him how much of a hypocrite he was.

Despite what John said about Markham and Stackhouse and the others a few weeks ago, their relationships still weren't common knowledge. John probably only knew because he was the Major, and he made it his business to know everything. He wanted to be with John, but he could never ask him to give up his career for him.

He'd tried before and look how that one turned out. He couldn't take the chance of loosing John. It would kill him inside, so he pushed aside the little voice in the back of his head, nagging him to make a big deal over this. He would keep quiet.

For John.

"Rodney, everything ok? I can't hear the shower running," John knocked at the door.

Rodney smile was not at all forced. John was concerned about him. John worried. The thought of someone worrying about him warmed his heart. No one had done so in a long time. Too long.

He opened the door and smiled at his lover.

"I just wanted to see how long it took you to join me," he told him, dropping his boxers and sauntering towards the large shower. He turned on the water and felt a spark of pleasure at the speed at which John made it across the spacious bathroom to his side. He grinned as he wrapped his arms around the brunette's shoulder and pulled them both under the warm spray.

"What about the meeting?" John protested weekly when Rodney's hands started wandering.

"So we'll be a little late," Rodney whispered in his ear, before suddenly grasping John's ass-cheeks and thrusting their rapidly-awakening cocks together.

"Late," John gasped, grinding their hips together. "I can do that."

* / * / *

As it turned out, they weren't late for the meeting. In fact, they were the first ones there. Aiden and Teyla arrived shortly after John and Rodney did, both looking a little flushed. John smirked at the couple.

"Running late, were we?" he asked in an amused voice. He knew full well they weren't flushed from running to make the meeting, but from the quickie they'd indulged in in one of the labs, and that he and Rodney had accidentally stumbled across on their way.

"Yes, we... I overslept," Teyla stated trying to cover up her slip.

John raised an amused eyebrow at Rodney. "They overslept," he explained patiently. Rodney grinned at him.

"Damn alarm-clocks," he sympathized. "Never know when they are going to stop working."

A blush crept up both Aiden and Teyla' cheeks.

"Ask me what I did today Rodney," John urged.

"Why John, what did you do today?" Rodney asked, his voice alive with amusement.

"Well, I was wandering down the hall heading towards this briefing when I heard some strange noises coming from one of the labs. I went in and guess what he I found?"

"What did you find John?" Rodney asked, struggling to keep a straight face.

"Well, I saw these two people and guess what they were doing?"

"What?" Rodney giggled.

"Enough!" Teyla shouted, her patience with the two of them snapping. They were sitting there with cheeky grins on their faces. Beside her, Aiden was blushing furiously. Teyla was about to flay the pair of the verbally, when Elizabeth and Carson came in.

John noticed the possessive way Carson cupped her elbow and how she smiled broadly at him. Elizabeth raised a hand to caress his face where he had been injured, and Carson had leaned into her touch. He raised an eyebrow at it, and Rodney followed his eyes. He looked at John in surprise.

"Is there something in the water?" he asked in an undertone to John.

"Alright people, sorry we're late," Elizabeth said at the head of the table, calling the meeting to order. "Now, what's happening in our city this morning?"

* / * / *

The rest of the meeting went smoothly, and if people noticed that John and Rodney were beaming happily (and kinda creepily) then they didn't comment on it. They discussed the state of the city and organised crews to check out the damage to critical areas.

"Alright people, you have your assignments," Elizabeth told the room as she stood. John grinned when he saw Teyla and Aiden beating a hasty retreat before he could torment them again.

"Wow, never thought I'd actually see two grown up's 'scampering'" Rodney grinned as he stood to leave. John frowned and pulled him down so he was sitting again.

"What?" Rodney asked. "I've got a lot of work to do."

"I want to talk to Elizabeth," John told him meaningfully. Realization dawned in Rodney's eyes.

"John, you can't!" he protested in an undertone so Elizabeth and Carson couldn't hear them. Carson was talking quietly to the leader and she was smiling at him. At any other time, he would have been grinning at the sight, but now... he couldn't let John give up a career for him.

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell, remember? As much as I love you for wanting us to be open about our relationship, I can't let you give up a career for me. I can't let you get court martialed for me! I'm just happy being with you. I'm not worth you giving up everything for. Please, don't ruin your life for me!" Rodney begged.

John blinked at him. Wow, he hadn't been expecting the outpouring for words from the scientist. He had no idea that Rodney felt that way. He had the sudden urge to punch Jason for making Rodney so insecure. Didn't Rodney know that he was the love of John's life?

"Rodney," he said, scooting his chair closer. "Listen to me, and listen good. I don't ever want you to say those words again. There will be no court martial, and even if there was going to be, I wouldn't care. I won't hide what we have. I love you, and I want everyone to know it." With that, he leaned forward and kissed him.

"John, what are you doing?" Rodney exclaimed, drawing Elizabeth and Carson's eyes to them.

"Coming out," John grinned as he stood and dragged his scientist with him. Rodney's eyes darted frantically between John's beaming smile and Elizabeth and Carson's looks of realization.

"You mean, coming out as in..." Elizabeth waved her hands to illustrate.

"Yep, coming out as in I love Rodney McKay, he loves me and we are going to be together openly." He slung an arm around Rodney's shoulders, and could feel how tense the physicist was.

"Well, about bloody time!" Carson exclaimed, grinning at Rodney's confused expression. Carson's smile grew even wider, because it was not often that he could shock the normally vocal man into silence.

"I agree," Elizabeth said, also smiling. "It took the pair of you long enough."

Rodney looked even more confused than ever, and John was of the opinion that confused was a good look for him. He was very cute when he was confused. He resisted the urge to ruffle his hair... for the moment.

"But what about... you know..." Rodney indicated to John's uniform.

"I'm guessing this is going to turn into one of those meetings that I'm not needed for, so I'm going to make my exit now," Carson announced. He turned to John and Rodney. "Seriously lads, I'm happy for ye, and Elizabeth, I'll see you for lunch love," he said before leaving the briefing room.

"Love?" John grinned, raising an eyebrow at the good doctor. Elizabeth blushed slightly.

"Yes well, Carson calls everyone love," she told him.

"Right," John drawled and Elizabeth blushed deeper.

"Well, this isn't about me or Carson," she said, sitting and regaining some of her composure. "This is about you two."

"Yes, about that Elizabeth," Rodney began. "We realise that while this isn't a military expedition, you need to keep the rules. So if you want to..."

"Rodney," John cut him off. "Relax will you. Everything will be fine. Just listen to Elizabeth."

"We all knew coming here that it was probably going to be a one way trip," Elizabeth told him as he slowly sat down. "I knew that if we got here, then people would eventually start pairing off. It's only natural. So, Colonel Sumner and I had a discussion with the President, the joint chiefs and the General O'Neill and they agreed that for this mission, Don't Ask, Don't Tell doesn't apply."

Rodney's mind was reeling. "Sumner?"

"Yes," John grinned. "Colonel Sumner. The man was a hard ass, but he looked out for his men. It was, and is, in the best interests of morale and harmony not to have to lock people up for falling in love, especially on such a small base as this as far away from home as we are."

"So, no court martial?" Rodney just wanted clarification.

"No court martial," Elizabeth agreed. "If we ever get back to Earth, none of the American military that have engaged in relationships with a member of the same sex will be brought up on charges."

"Wow, nice and clinical Elizabeth," John commented dryly form his seat.

"Yes well, I think Rodney needed a bit of assurance. You're lucky John. He's worried for you."

"You know, he is still in the room," Rodney told them. "And I'm the lucky one." Rodney squeezed John's hand, and smiled at him.

"I think you need a few minutes to discuss this," Elizabeth told them as she rose and left the room, smiling as the doors closed behind her.

Silence reigned in the room fro a moment or two.

"Why didn't you tell me," Rodney asked quietly.

"About Don't Ask, Don't Tell?"

"Yes, that little old rule. When you told me about Bates and Zelenka and the others, you didn't say that the SGC and the President approved it."

"Bates and the rest came and told me cos they felt we deserved to know, despite the rule. I told them it was alright and how Weir and Sumner got them to dismiss Don't Ask, Don't Tell for this mission," John told him. "They all had the choice of coming out as a couple, but so far, no one wanted to just yet."

"Which leads us back to my original question. Why didn't you tell me? I mean, you knew I was bisexual. I told you that to your face."

John blushed slightly. "If I tell you, promise not to get mad?"

"What did you do?" Rodney asked, rolling his eyes.

"Nothing!" John protested. "Just, promise me."

"Ok, I promise."

"I didn't tell you because I figured that if you knew, you might find someone else."

John wouldn't meet Rodney's eyes as he spoke, and Rodney smiled slightly.

"Did it ever occur to you that Don't Ask, Don't Tell doesn't apply to the military from other countries? Or to the scientists. If I'd wanted to, I could have found someone. Lucky for you, I only wanted a certain messy haired Air Force Major."

"I know you could have found some non military lover, but damnit Rodney, I love you! I wanted you all to all to myself, and this was just my way trying to get you. I wanted to narrow the choices a little. Please don't be mad."

He looked so earnest and pleading as he clutched Rodney's hand that the scientist couldn't help but laugh.

"How can I stay mad at someone who loves me that much?" he smiled as he kissed John. "Just don't keep things from me again, ok?"

"Ok," John grinned happily as he dove in for another kiss. He wrapped his arms around Rodney and pushed him back in the chair. He slid off his own chair, following him and knelt in front of him. His hand slid down Rodney's chest to his dick, and gave it an experimental squeeze. Rodney groaned into his mouth and John would have grinned if he hadn't been too busy checking Rodney's tonsils for holes.

"John... the door...Someone could come in..." Rodney gasped, and John groaned. He had a point. They could just lock it, but knowing his luck, someone would try to come in and it would lead to a whole lot of questions. He didn't want people to find out about them that way. Reluctantly, he pulled away and sat back.

"Damn, sometimes I hate it when you're right," he admitted.

"You and me both," Rodney groaned. "Come on; let's go get some breakfast before we start putting this place back together.

They walked to the mess hall, happy grins on their faces and occasionally bumping shoulders. They tried to restrain themselves and wipe the happy grins from their faces, but judging from the strange looks they were getting, they weren't very successful.

When they got to the mess hall, Rodney went to get them food while John located Ford and Teyla. The couple eyed him warily as he approached and sat down.

"What's up kids?" he asked brightly. "Anything you want to tell your CO, Ford?"

"Sir...: Aiden began.

"Relax Ford, I'm only joking. I'm happy for the two of you." Again, they looked at him warily. He was acting strangely... he was happy; the happiest they had ever seen him.

John beamed as Rodney approached with two trays.

"Thanks Babe," he said as Rodney sat down. Rodney blushed under their team-mates' shocked and enquiring gazes.

"So, is there something you want to tell us?" Aiden asked John as he looked form one to the other.

"Yep," John smiled at Rodney. "You wanna tell them?" he asked. Rodney grinned at John's attempt to give him control back over the situation.

"John and I are together. As in sleeping together."

"And in love," John piped up. "You can't forget that part."

Rodney rolled his eyes affectionately. "Yes, and in love." He felt extremely nervous as he waited for Aiden and Teyla's reactions. They looked shocked for a moment, and then wide smiles split their faces.

"About goddamned time!" Aiden exclaimed.

"That's what Carson said," John told Rodney. "Ever think we're missing something?"

"What he means is that we are happy for you both," Teyla said diplomatically.

"Why, what did you do?" Radek asked as he walked towards them, balancing a tray in one hand and a pile of notes in the other. He sat down next to Rodney. "What did I miss?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "This is going to be going on for ages!" he complained to John, then got slightly scared at the look in John's eyes.

"I agree. Maybe we should do something about it."

With that, John stood up and climbed onto his chair, and from that, onto the table. Rodney tried ineffectually to pull him back down, bug John ignored him. He stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled for everyone's attention.

"Alright!" he said loudly as the noise quietened down. "I've got an announcement to make. Rodney and I are together. Together as in a couple. Now, anyone with any objections to that can you form a neat line please so I can either kick your ass or let Rodney do it. Anyone who's happy for us, thanks!" he grinned brightly. "That's all. You can go back to your meals now," he told them as he climbed down.

"Are you nuts?" Rodney shouted over the babble of voices that erupted after John's impromptu speech.

"Only about, you," John grinned.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "My, my. I didn't realise I was involved with such a hopeless romantic. Or someone who thrives on cliché's." John simply grinned back at him and Rodney closed his eyes briefly praying for strength. "Just shut up and eat your breakfast. I've gotta go get more of Carson's happy pills and then I've gotta get to the lab," he told John as he stood up. He smiled at John to let him know that he wasn't too mad at him before he left.

John quickly finished his breakfast because he had a lot of work to do. As he left the mess hall, he saw people giving him thumb's up signs and wide smiles and he was relieved.

Aiden waited until the door closed behind John and took out a small notebook from his vest pocket. People hushed in anticipation as he flicked through it.

"Ok who had today at 9.30a.m.?" he called as he flicked through the betting book.

* / * / *

John caught up with Rodney before he went to his own office. He just wanted to be sure that the scientist wasn't pissed at him telling everyone.

"Hey," he said from the doorway. Rodney looked up form his computer and couldn't surpress his smile.

"Hey, any more announcements to make to the general population?" he asked. John grinned sheepishly.

"I just wanted people to know," he admitted. "I don't want to hide us. You're not mad, are you?"

"How can I be mad at someone who makes a fool of himself over me?" Rodney asked, coming over and hugging John.

"I just love you," John told him, and Rodney hugged him tighter.

"Did I ever tell you about my Grandmother?" John asked Rodney.

"No, why?"

"Well, she was very cool. She was one of the first women n the Air Force; she was a fantastic pilot and a wonderful wife and mother. My grandfather died of a heart attack when he was only in his late forties, so she knew how hard life could be. She was full of stories, but also great advice."

"Hmm? Such as?"

"She told me 'John, life is going to throw all sorts of crazy things at ya. You gotta hold on to the good times. And if love comes your way, then you have to grab it with both hands and never let it go'." They were both silent for a moment.

"Smart woman, your grandmother," Rodney commented.

"Yeah, like I said, she was cool." John looked into Rodney's eyes. "That's what I'm doing here Rodney. I'm grabbing with both hands."

"I won't let you go," Rodney promised as he leaned in for just one more kiss before he had to start work.


	5. The Fight Of Our Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set around the episode 'The Seige' - Help comes from Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

John held him close as he slept. Even in sleep, he could see the lines of exhaustion etched into Rodney's features. The scientist was exhausted. He hadn't slept more than five hours in the past week, and still, John had had to order him to grab some rest.

The Wraith were coming; that much everyone knew. But not everyone knew how far Rodney was pushing himself trying to find a way to stop them. He stayed up night after night, scanning the Ancient database or working on simulations on his computer. John had dragged him away from his lab not even an hour ago and Rodney had crashed once they had reached their room. Still, John could practically see the equations running through his lovers head even in sleep.

John smiled slightly as Rodney snuggled in deeper into his side and settled once more. He remembered Rodney's teasing him on their first night together about he liked to cuddle. God, that seemed so long ago now; so much had happened since then, and they had come out the stronger for it. They could weather anything now.

Not that it had all been plain sailing. They'd had their share of fights, which on occasion had erupted into battles of epic proportions. He winced at the memory of the fight they'd had just before they arrived on Proculus. It had been a stupid argument about Rodney staying in the labs too late, and John feeling left out and lonely. Under normal circumstances, they would have kissed and made up after the obligatory few hours of bitching at each other, but then, they had met Chaya.

And she had taken an instant liking to John.

And things had gone downhill from there.

John still couldn't believe he'd told Rodney that it was none of his business. He'd hurt Rodney badly, he knew that. It was just... he'd been intoxicated by Chaya, to the exclusion of all else. After she left, he'd even asked Carson if any of the test he'd run showed up any high levels of pheromones or something that would explain John's reaction to her, but nothing came up. It was because of his own stupidity that he'd almost lost the one person he loved more than life. Rodney had forgiven him, eventually. After much groveling and gifts of the last of the coffee rations. (To make up for the food he'd given Chaya. Rodney had threatened to shoot him when he found out that John had given her the last of the M &amp; M's.) But he couldn't really blame Rodney. He'd been an asshole about the whole thing.

He certainly hadn't liked it when the tables had been turned. He'd had to restrain himself from physically hurting Allina on Dagan. "Oh Dr. McKay, you are so clever." "It is beautiful, but I find my eye drawn elsewhere." And all those coy glances from under her lashes. She'd been planning things. Tart! John had been tempted to give Rodney a great big hickey so she would know to keep her HANDS OFF, but then common sense had prevailed. Rodney would never hurt him by cheating on him, and that made him feel even worse for everything he'd done with Chaya.

John held Rodney closer and relaxed to the sound of his lover's smooth, steady heart beat. They were both here, and alive. For the moment anyway. The Wraith were on their way, but there was no way they were giving up without a fight. Especially Rodney. He'd been proud of Rodney in the Alternate Timeline when he'd drowned trying to save everyone else. That was his Rodney; he refused to give up. He'd find a way to defeat the Wraith just to prove the doomsayers wrong.

A tiny soft alarm bleeped on his watch and John quickly moved to turn it off. They had a briefing in an hour, and John badly needed a shower. He slipped out carefully from Rodney's embrace and headed towards the shower. Better let the man get whatever sleep he could. He needed it, especially since he was going to fix the satellite.

John didn't like the idea of Rodney going to fix it. There were plenty of other scientists that could do it. Admittedly, they couldn't do it as well, but some of them weren't completely incompetent. Zelenka wanted to go, John knew, but Rodney didn't trust anyone but himself to do it. Deciding to try to get Weir on his side so he could fly them to the satellite, he stepped under the spray of water.

He loved the bathrooms in Atlantis. The Ancients certainly understood the word 'opulent'. There was a huge bath tub/Jacuzzi that could easily fit three or four people, the tiling was ornately decorated, a floor-to-ceiling mirror dominated one entire wall and the showers... God the showers were a thing of beauty. There were several shower heads that could be re-positioned at a mere thought. The water temperature and pressure could also be changed easily. Basically, they were heaven, especially after long missions on sandy or muddy planets.

Groaning as the warm spray hit him, he realised just how much he needed this. The stress of the past few weeks was taking its toll on his body, and his muscles were bunched up. He mentally upped the pressure to massage and felt the pounding hot water sooth out the knotted muscles in his back and shoulders. He jumped slightly when he felt calloused hands slide over his shoulders in a caress.

"I thought you were sleeping," he murmured, not turning around. There was no point. It could only be Rodney.

"I was," Rodney replied, moving his naked body closer to John. "But now, I'm not." John gasped as Rodney pressed his lips to his shoulders.

"So, you're awake, and you want to play?" John grinned.

"Something like that. Gotta have fun while we can." Rodney looked nervous.

"Yeah, while we can," John agreed. "Listen Rodney," John said, turning around to face his lover. "No heroics ok? Atlantis doesn't need another martyr. She needs you. *We* need you. So you have to come back to us, ok? Come back to me." He was helpless to prevent the tremor that shook his voice as he tightened his grip on Rodney's biceps. He had to understand. He *had* to come back to him.

"I understand," Rodney told him. "And the same applies to you. You'd better be here when I get back. Like you said Major; no heroics."

"I'll try," John grinned. They both knew that it was a very real possibility that one or both of them would die in the next few days, but at that moment, they were alive and that was what mattered.

There was a hint of desperation in John's kiss as he devoured Rodney's mouth. Hands groped and squeezed as the tongues dueled. Rodney pressed forward and John felt cool tile against his back. Rodney moved his kisses down John's neck and chest. He laved each nipple lovingly, causing John to moan and pant before he went lower. He dropped to his knees and grinned smugly at the sight before him. John loved sex in the shower, which the achingly hard cock in front of him was testament to. Rodney smiled up at his lover, as he flicked his tongue against the head of John's penis. John groaned deep in the back of his throat and closed his eyes, silently willing Rodney to do it again.

But Rodney waited until John's eyes were open once again and focused on him before he took the very tip into his mouth. His hands gripped John's strong thighs as he took more and more of John in, never once breaking eye contact with him. John's hips shifted at the slow pace, and Rodney placed one hand on John's stomach, keeping him still even as he played with the soft hair that grew there.

"Ah ah," he scolded gently. Well, it would have been gently scolding had his mouth not been full. As it was, his attempt at words sent vibrations through John's cock and he gasped, running his hands through Rodney's hair and gasping his name. Rodney slid his hand down John's hip and traced gently to his lover's balls. He caressed and massaged them even as he took John in even more. He could feel the tip of John's cock in the back of his throat and he moaned in pleasure. John's cock jumped in response and his lover was incoherent. All this time, they had never broken eye contact, and Rodney saw how John's eyes darkened with passion as he writhed and moaned beneath Rodney's hands and mouth.

With his free hand, Rodney trailed his fingers into the cleft of John's ass, causing the major to gasp and buck beneath him. It took little more than pressure on his hole for John to come shooting into Rodney's mouth, screaming his name. Rodney held his lover as the orgasm overtook him and he shuddered with pleasure. Rodney swallowed every drop, loving the salty taste of John. Funny, he'd never been a fan of the taste before. I mean, who was? But since he'd met John, he'd developed an addiction for the stuff.

John slumped against the tiles and Rodney stood, pressing his body tightly against John's as he leaned on for a kiss. He framed John's face with his hands as he leisurely explored the major's mouth. After a moment, John snapped out of his daze and began kissing him back in earnest, wrapping his arms around Rodney's waist and anchoring him to his body. Rodney's hips began to move of their own accord as he pressed his cock against John's hip. He was close... so close.

He pulled back suddenly.

"Wanna fuck you," he whispered in John's ear, his voice taking a pleading tone. If there was one place he loved being more than on his knees in front of John, it was being buried balls deep in him.

"What's stopping you?" John whispered back, turning and bracing himself on the wall. Rodney was kissing his way across John's shoulders when an ingenious plan struck him.

"Major, I have a cunning plan...." he whispered.

"Really? Does it involve you fucking me, cos if it doesn't, then I'm really not interested at this moment in time."

As John was talking, Rodney thought the water off and pulled him out of the shower stall. The steam in the bathroom quickly dissipated and John looked around, confused.

"What you got in mind?" he asked Rodney warily. Without speaking, Rodney pulled Rodney over to the floor to ceiling mirror that covered one wall. He braced John's hands on the mirror so his back was slightly arched and grinned at John's shocked reflection in the mirror.

"I gotta admit John, this is something I've wanted to do ever since we came here and I saw these mirrors."

"You want to watch me watch you fuck me, is that it?" John asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"Oh yeah!" Rodney said in his tone usually reserved for fantastic scientific discoveries or new alien gadgets. He leaned forward and pressed kisses down John spine. He looked around and spotted a bottle of hand lotion on a nearby shelf. He grabbed it and squirted some onto his fingers.

John gasped as he felt Rodney's finger circle the tight hole before pressing inside. He hissed at the slight pain of intrusion but soon forgot it as Rodney moved his finger, opening him. When he added a second finger, John groaned and pushed backwards.

Rodney bit his lip in concentration. Focus on John. Just focus on him and not how much you want to just slam into him and fuck him senseless. By the time he added a third finger, John was half hard again and actively fucking himself on Rodney's fingers. He howled in protest when Rodney removed his fingers to slick himself up, but soon, he could feel the pressure of Rodney's cock at his entrance.

He looked over John's shoulder and met his eyes in the mirror as he pushed forward into John. The look of pure bliss on John's face was so fucking hot that Rodney had to call on every ounce of self control he possessed not to come there and then. He reached around John's body and began to stroke his chest, working his way downwards as he sheathed himself fully in John.

John groaned and pushed back as Rodney's hand came in contact with John's cock. It amazed him that he could be hard again so soon, but the proof was literally, laid out for him to see. In the mirror, he could see John's flushed cheeks and could see the way his hands clenched and unclenched on the smooth surface. John moaned as Rodney's cock hit his prostate, and Rodney lost control.

He began pounding into John's tight, hot body, one hand pumping Johns cock, the other gripping John's hip. John's moans turned to cries of pleasure as he thrust backwards in counterpoint. Rodney his John's prostate again and again until finally, the major screamed in ecstasy and shuddered as he came. The muscles contracted around Rodney's cock and he followed the major into oblivion, before he eased out and guided them both to the floor.

They both lay there slumped for a moment, catching their breaths.

"Damn, need another shower," John observed once he had gathered enough strength to speak. He reluctantly got to his feet and turned the water on again.

"Me too," Rodney told him. "Can I share?"

"Baby, as much as I'd love you to, you know if you do, we're not going to get out of there for the next few hours. And we *have* to go to this briefing."

Grumbling, Rodney agreed as John took a quick shower. Rodney cleaned up the floor with a wet towel before switching places with John so he could have his. They dressed quietly and left the room together. By unspoken agreement they went to the mess hall. Rodney stocked up on power bars and snagged a cup of coffee and John took some coffee and cookies.

They were amongst the last to arrive at the meeting. No one commented on the fact... just like no one commented on how Aiden was speaking quietly to Teyla on the earpiece. Or how Bates was seated protectively beside Zelenka. Or how Elizabeth and Carson kept exchanging worried glances that spoke volumes of their affection for each other.

"Ok," Rodney said, standing as the last few stragglers came in. "Let's get started..."

* / * / *

Their goodbye was short-lived, but sincere. John cornered Rodney as he headed towards the jumper bay with the equipment he was going to need. He pulled the other man into a hug, and held him close for a moment as if he was memorizing the feel of Rodney in his arms.

Rodney clung to him in turn, burying his face in John's neck and breathing in his scent one more time.

"I mean what I said. No heroics, ok?" John reminded him.

"Same to you. Make sure there's something for me to come back to, alright."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Their kiss was brief and chaste, a gesture of affection and respect. Then Rodney was gone; hurrying down the hall before he changed his mind. John watched him go, before turning and heading back to the command centre.

* / * / *

Fifteen hours.

Fifteen hours to the satellite. Fifteen hours with nothing to do but think. He'd already double, triple and quadruple checked his equations and plans and now he could do nothing but think.

Think of the many things that could go wrong.

Think of the many ways in which John could die.

Think of the many ways they could loose Atlantis to the Wraith.

Rodney groaned. This was getting him nowhere. With a sigh, he opened his laptop and began checking his equations and specs for the fifth time.

* / * / *

John wasn't sure which surprised him more; finding what looked like dinosaurs in Pegasus, or Teyla decking Bates. Not that the marine hadn't deserved it, but still, he hadn't expected her to do it. He wished Rodney was here so they could be incredulous together.

And now, they were calling him because Bates had been attacked and was unconscious.

John groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. This was *not* shaping up to be a good day.

* / * / *

Rodney groaned. This was *not* shaping up to be a good day. He had to space-walk.

Space-walk!!!!

He was an astrophysicist, *not* an Astronaught. There was a *big* difference! His breathing was shallow and rapid, and his heart-rate was up. With his luck, he'd hyperventilate and pass out and then where would they be?

'Come on, McKay' he said to himself. 'Just go a little at a time. Just look at what's in front of you.'

Finally, he'd descended to the bottom of the satellite. Now, he could get some work done. Calling on his near depleted reserves of energy, he hooked up his computer to the mainframe, and began to work.

* / * / *

A Wraith! There was a goddamned Wraith in the city! The son of a bitch had attacked Bates and nearly killed him. Zelenka was beside himself with worry and distracted from developing the computer virus. Carson had put Bates into a coma so he could heal, but it was still touch and go.

He crept down the hall followed by his marines. They had tracked the Wraith to a little-used section of the city, and he was determined to catch the monster. He checked in with the other tracker team; Ford and Teyla were still a bit aways. He was going to wait for them when all of a sudden, there were flashes of blue everywhere and he felt an unfortunately familiar powerful force slam into him.

John felt himself go numb and he collapsed after the Wraith stunner hit him.

He could barely move. He hadn't taken a full blast, so he had limited movement of his head. He tried desperately to reach for his gun, screaming in his mind for his hand to move, but his body refused to co-operate. He doubled his efforts when he saw the sickening grin of a Wraith with what looked like a tribal tattoo above one eye. It was walking smugly towards him... directly to him. The creature grinned and reached down, tearing his vest so he had access to John's chest.

"Nothing will keep us from our feeding ground," the thing snarled as he raised his hand to slam it down into John's chest.

"Rodney is going to kill me," John thought as he watched the hand begin it's descent towards his chest.

* / * / *

Oh this was not good. This was so not good.

He had to go *outside* to fix the goddamned satellite! Outside! Just his goddamned luck to pick the short straw... pencil fragment... whatever. Rodney grumbled as he climbed back up to the jumper. Not even Miller's repeated platitudes that he was the best one to fix it could console him.

When he got outside, it was worse than he had thought... so much worse. The circuitry was almost completely fried. He was going to have to completely bypass several panels to hook up the systems. He was starting to wish he'd taken Radek up on his offer to come, but quickly brushed away that thought. True, the Czech was competent. (More than competent, truth be told.) But as Grodin reminded him, he could fix anything, and by God, he was going to fix this or die trying!

* / * / *

Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!!! Those damn stunners! John had pins and needles over his entire body, and it was *not* a pleasant experience. As soon as he regained some mobility, he was out of the infirmary before Carson could object. He had a house call to make.

The Wraith was pacing in his cell when John arrived. He was openly grinning at the nervous guards, making them jumpy. John strode in with much more confidence than he really felt.

He had so many questions. The son of a bitch had been on the base for almost two weeks. What damage had he done? From experience, he knew that they would talk of he goaded them. Ok, they would brag if he goaded them enough.

So, what should he call him? They seemed to hate that. It has certainly irked Steve no end when he had referred to him by the human name. Ok, he kind of reminded him of a guy he knew in college... Bob was big into the tattoos too.

Alright. Bob it was then. It was time for show and tell.

* / * / *

If Rodney thought the trip to the satellite was bad, the journey home was even worse. They'd lost Peter; he couldn't believe it. He'd known the other scientist for years, having been only two years apart in university. He had liked and respected the Brit, and now he was dead.

Damnit, he wasn't looking forward to telling Heightmeyer about his death. He knew the two were involved; had been for several months. He thought of the unfairness of it all. They came out here to be peaceful explorers. They didn't want a war. But war was what they had ended up with. War with an enemy that far surpassed anything his nightmares could conjure up. And he'd thought the Goa'uld were the definition of pure evil!

The worst part was that despite it all, people found happiness in their lives and each other. And that happiness could be ripped away by the simple push of a button. Grodin hadn't deserved to die. None of their people did. But a lot more were going to die because of the destruction of the satellite. Rodney groaned silently as he rested his head against the back of the co-pilots seat.

John. John would be on the front lines, Rodney was positive of that. He subscribed to the school of thought of not making people do things he wouldn't do himself. By now, the evacuation of Atlantis would be well underway, but there would be other fights. Ample opportunities for John to put himself in danger for the mission. Joy!

"Coming up on Atlantis," Miller's quiet voice interrupted Rodney's dismal thoughts. He jumped when the pilot spoke, because he'd been almost completely silent the entire trip back. Rodney understood why.

Having seen the armada up close, and seeing what havoc they could wreak, his hope had died alongside Miller's.

"Time to put on a brave face", Rodney thought as they docked in the jumper bay and he headed towards the control room.

The halls of Atlantis were eerily empty of personnel as he hurried towards the gate room. There was no one around; all equipment had been transported through to the Alpha site, and most of the expedition had gone along with it.

He ran lightly down the steps to the control room, and was greeted by Elizabeth.

"Welcome back Rodney," she told him, but he had no time for such pleasantries. He was grateful to see John following close behind Elizabeth and he spared a second for a brief thank you to whatever Gods or Ancients were looking out of his lover before he asked "Where are we?"

"Our scanners show the Wraith Hive Ships have started moving again, but their pace has slowed considerably," Elizabeth told him. Damnit! He'd been hoping they would reconsider their attack altogether. It had been a fool's hope, but at this stage, it was all he'd had.

"Obviously you gave them something to think about," John told him and Rodney flashed him a brief smile as he checked the computer readouts.

"Whether they get here in two hours or two days, it doesn't change the fact that we're out of options," Elizabeth told them somberly. "We can't hope to fight them, so unless either of you have any more bright ideas?"

'Jeez, way to put pressure on us!' John thought as he exchanged tired looks with Rodney. The scientist looked like hell. He was exhausted, John could tell, and he was functioning on pure will alone. Ford ran up the steps to tell them that the last group was ready. With a heavy heart, they set the auto destruct and prepared to delete the database. It was a depressing thought. Rodney began dialing the Alpha Site when all of a sudden, alarms went off.

"We've got an incoming wormhole!" Rodney exclaimed, and John could detect the hint of fear in his voice. The fear was over-ridden by curiosity and confusion when he checked the computers. "Receiving an IDC," he told them.

Elizabeth looked as stunned as he felt. For a second, John imagined it was the Alpha site dialing back to tell them they were under attack, and felt this blood run cold. "Who is it?" he asked.

"Stargate Command," Rodney told them in a shocked voice. Stargate command? Well, that was unexpected. They ran down the steps just as four marines stepped through; their guns raised. They were followed by many others lugging equipment and cases behind them. The lead marine stepped forward. John recognised the rank, and immediately straightened up. Beside him, Ford automatically saluted the Colonel.

"Doctor Weir?" he asked in a patronizing voice.

"Yes..." Elizabeth said warily.

"Colonel William Everett, United States Marine Corps," he informed her.

"You should know that..." Elizabeth began, but the Colonel cut her off.

"General O'Neill sends his compliments on a job well done under extraordinary circumstances," the new Colonel interrupted her again. "You are relieved," he told her, saluting her. John could feel Elizabeth bristling beside him at the attitude of the man in front of her. He knew from experience that she was about to rip him a new one, so he quickly intervened.

"Sir, we're about to evacuate," he began, but then Everett cut *him* off.

"Without a fight..." he smirked.

"Yes sir," John replied.

"Under my order," Elizabeth jumped in to defend him.

"That order is officially rescinded," Everett told her. "I assume you've armed the self-destruct."

"Yes sir, but as Doctor Weir was trying to tell you..."

"I'm going to need you to disarm it immediately."

John was getting really, really tired of this guy interrupting them mid-sentence.

"Hold on a second Colonel," Elizabeth said. She was pissed; both John and Rodney could tell that easily. "I don't think you've fully grasped our situation here..."

"You have three Wraith hive ships bearing down on you and precious little to defend yourselves with. That about sum it up?" Everett smirked again.

"You got our message," Rodney guessed, incredulous.

"We got your message," Everett confirmed.

"It's down to two hive ships. We managed to destroy one," Elizabeth told him testily.

"Good for you," Everett patronized. "That makes my job a little easier," he said walking past them.

"What exactly is your job Colonel?" John asked.

"I should think that'd be obvious by now Major. We are going to defend Atlantis... at all cost."

Everett walked up the steps. Elizabeth tried to stop them, but he handed her orders. "Signed by General O'Neill," he told her smugly.

"Sir, it's not that we don't appreciate the thought," John began, "But if you'd read our report on the armada headed this way, you'd know there's not much we can do about it."

"Oh I read your report cover to cover Major," Everett glared at him, and John resisted the urge to gulp. This wasn't going to be fun. Rodney seemed to sense John's discomfort, because he chimed in then.

"You must have found a ZedPM."

"It was discovered by a group of Archeologists in Egypt. Damn thing's been under our noses the entire time," Everett confirmed. Rodney was the only one so far that Everett didn't patronize, John realised. That meant he probably had some respect for the scientist. If that was the case, then things weren't looking good for him and Elizabeth.

It was good to hear that Earth hadn't abandoned them, and that they were sending the Daedalus to their aid. John just hoped they'd get here in time. Everett started giving orders, and walked away, leaving an open mouthed Elizabeth and an uncomfortable Rodney in his wake.

John ran up to dial the alpha site, and turned when Elizabeth and Rodney came up behind him.

"Stop John," she told him as he started pressing buttons. John hesitated.

"Elizabeth, I understand, but this guy's my superior. I have to follow his orders."

"John, just wait a few minutes until I've had a chance to talk to him. Please?" Elizabeth begged him. John groaned inwardly. Well, there goes a good working relationship with the new CO.

"Alright," he agreed.

"Good," Elizabeth beamed. "Now, let's turn off the self destruct and go speak to the Colonel."

* / * / *

"Major, that's the last time I give you an order twice," Everett warned as John left the briefing room.

Terrific! He'd just managed to piss of the new Colonel. But really, he wasn't too concerned. He'd done the right thing. Elizabeth may not be military, but she's the best CO he'd ever had, and she deserved any and all respect due to her. John figured that Colonel Everett thought that they were sleeping together. He was giving the funny looks when John said that Elizabeth had earned his trust and respect. If only he knew!

He jogged over to the control panel to dial the Stargate. On the way, he came across a grumbling Rodney and Radek.

"What's up?" he asked as he started dialing.

"Oh nothing," Rodney snarked. "Just calculating how long it takes for Everett to realise that he NEEDS THE GODDAMNED SCIENTISTS and begs us to help him, that's all."

John rolled his eyes at Rodney's dramatics, but the he had a point. Rodney was Head Scientist on the mission, and thereby second or third in command (They had never bothered to figure out which one of them, Rodney or John, was the second in command.) He deserved to be in the loop.

"Well," John told him, "They've brought a Mark II generator for you to power the chair with. I suggest you get..." But John was talking to thin air. As soon as the words 'Mark II' and 'power the chair' had left his lips, Rodney and Radek had disappeared in a flurry of motion, sprinting towards their lab to collect their tools. John shook his head in resignation and dialed the Alpha Site.

* / * / *

Great! Just great! They were down to less than fifty drones! They were so screwed. Rodney hurried along the corridors as he searched for Elizabeth. He didn't trust this Everett character. He'd pissed off Teyla for God's sake! That just showed a level of stupidity far beyond even Kavanagh's. Besides, he'd trusted Elizabeth this far, and he would prefer to tell her what he'd found after he'd manhandled the panicking Scot into the chair.

God, they were so screwed.

* / * / *

John walked briskly down to the projection room. Colonel Everett wanted to see him, and John guessed what this was going to be about. Everett had been practically threatening when he told John that he had read the entire report, 'cover to cover'. This was going to be about Sumner. He just knew it. He reached the room a lot quicker that he would have liked.

"You wanted to see me Colonel?" he asked, stepping into the room. Everett was standing in the projection room, with his arms crossed, looking rather menacing.

"Yes. I was told that I could learn a lot about the history of Atlantis in this room."

"We haven't used it much because of the power requirements," John told him.

"Still, I would like to see for myself how the ancients lost the first time; try to avoid their mistakes."

"Yes sir," John said as he stepped up to the podium.

"But first Major, I would like to discuss your problem with following orders." John winced at those words. He'd been expecting him to talk about Sumner, but he guessed this was going to be about Elizabeth and what he did.

"Sir?" he feigned confusion.

"Oh, turn off the act Major," Everett scoffed. "You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about you disregarding my orders because of your personal feelings."

"Yes sir. Personal feelings of respect and trust; like I said at the time."

"No. That's not it! It's obvious there's something more than trust and respect going on!"

"Sir, we're friends!"

"You know what? I don't care. Just know this. If you ever contradict my orders again because someone you're sleeping with tells you not to, they will never find your body! Do you understand me?"

"Sir! I'm not sleeping with Elizabeth!" John insisted. "In fact, she's involved with our Doctor, Carson Beckett."

Everett looked deflated for a moment. "Oh," he stated.

"Sir, I understand what you mean. But I'm not involved with Doctor Weir."

"That's good..."

"I'm involved with Doctor McKay," John told him and got perverse pleasure from the purple colour Everett's face changed to.

"Doctor... Doctor McKay? Rodney McKay?" he coughed out, obviously visualizing the snarky scientist.

"Yep. The one and only," John smirked. "I don't think the universe could handle two..." he mused and trailed off as Everett got his face colour under control again.

"Ever hear of a little rule called Don't Ask, Don't Tell Major?" he snapped.

"That doesn't apply here," John smirked. "President's orders."

For a moment, Everett just stared at John openmouthed.

"Yes well, that's neither here not there," he stated before visibly pulling himself together. "Now, show me this Ancient display..."

* / * / *

The attack was sudden. They'd been blinded for hours by the radiation from the exploded mines, just as Rodney predicted. Even though they were technically prepared, it was still a scene of organised chaos. Together, John and Rodney got the chair working, and the drones helped immensely. John was certain that without them, the city would have fallen to the first wave of darts.

Once the immediate threat of darts was eliminated, and the sky was once again dark, the pair ran from the chair room to the control room. They didn't say anything. They didn't have to. Both were glad the other was alive, and aware of just how far they had yet to go to survive this attack.

The techs in the control room were visibly relieved to see Rodney arrive, and to pass off control of the situation to him. Even though Radek was there, Rodney as Head Scientist, and they placed all their faith in him. He scanned the computer in front of him.

"Power's down in several sections of the city," he reported. "The long range scanners and the internal sensors are down, but we're working on it."

"I want a status report on those hive ships, ASAP," Everett told him. Rodney'd had enough of the Colonel's attitude at that point, and just snapped.

"They're coming, that's their status!" he shouted. "Tomorrow, the day after, the day after that... Eventually, they'll get here. Whether we're here to greet them or not is another matter."

"Rodney," John warned, coming to stand beside him. He placed a comforting hand on his lover's shoulder, ignoring the glare Everett was sending his way. "You need to relax. Breathe."

"Relax? Breath?" Rodney snapped. "How the hell do you suggest we I do that. We're in trouble John. The chair is out of drones. How do expect to handle the next wave?"

"I'm open to suggestions," Everett said to the room at large, but the question was really directed at John and Rodney.

"Really?" Rodney smirked.

John ignored Rodney's attitude in favour of the brainwave he was having at that moment.

"We target the hive ships!" he said suddenly.

"With what?"

"We fly the puddle jumpers in stealth mode right down their throats," John explained.

"You volunteering for a suicide mission?" Everett asked.

"It won't be a suicide mission if Rodney and Zelenka can figure out a way to remote control the jumpers." John hated to put more stress on Rodney's shoulders, but he had a feeling that this could work. Luckily, Rodney took his frustration out on Colonel Everett, who had asked him if he could do it.

"I knew this would happen!" Rodney exclaimed.

"Is that a fact?" Everett asked.

"Yes it's a fact! You know, you show up here with your guns, and your brush cuts, but when it comes to actually saving the city, you turn to the scientists. Every time, what you ask is impossible." Rodney leaned against one of the consoles and rubbed his forehead tiredly. John longed to reach out to hold him, but knew he couldn't.

"When was the last time you sleep, Doctor?" Everett asked Rodney. John bit his tongue to stop himself from saying 'Too long'. His scientist was exhausted, and hungry, but...

"Shhh, I have an idea," Rodney snapped at the colonel.

... he could still pull rabbits out of his hat.

Rodney and Zelenka started jabbering on about the chair platform and the jumpers. Everett was watching the two of them as if he were at a tennis match; his face went form one to the other rapidly.

"Possibly..." the scientists were muttering as they walked away, deep in thought.

"Is that a yes?" Everett asked a little desperately.

"No, it's a possibly," Rodney snarked before turning and walking away. John was inwardly smirking when he told the other about his plan to contact the Genii. A commotion on the lower level drew their attention. Teyla was trying to get through.

"The Wraith are in Atlantis!" she declared.

Oh shit....

"Ok, I want teams of four," Colonel Everett took control, "Armed with P-90's. Shoot to kill."

Everett continued to shout orders and all nearby marines ran to do his bidding. John ran to the armoury to stock upon on magazines, and grabbed a spare P-90 as an afterthought.

"Rodney," he shouted down his radio. "Where are you?"

"Trying to pry Carson away from his lab and to the chair room. Why?"

"Ok," John said. "I'm two minutes away from you. Meet me outside Lab 17C, ok?"

"Why? What's going on?"

"The Wraith are in the city."

"What! Oh fuck."

"I know. Get moving Rodney!"

John clicked off his radio and sprinted towards the labs, trusting Rodney to do the same. He turned a corner and there he was; Rodney was running as fast as he could towards John.

"I don't have much time," John said as Rodney slowed down, panting. "Here, take this." He handed Rodney a P-90 and a ton of extra ammo.

"What for?"

"The Wraith are here Rodney. It's possible they might go for the chair platform. You need to be able to defend yourself."

"Ok," Rodney said. Hs hands on the gun only wavered slightly, but John could see the fear in his eyes. He leaned forward and captured his mouth in a bruising kiss. Rodney hung on, kissing him back with all the passion he cold muster. They broke apart, panting slightly.

"Don't let this be goodbye," Rodney said. "We are going to get through this!"

"Rodney McKay being positive? I have a bad feeling about this," John smiled.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "I've got to go convince Carson he's not going to blow us all up. Be careful."

"Same to you. I love you Rodney."

"I love you too Major. Now go. We both have jobs to do."

Rodney turned and started to walk away, but he turned back suddenly and kissed John again. It was only a fleeting brush of the lips and he was gone, running down the corridor and not looking back.

John turned and ran the other way. He met Everett in the control room, and they were off.

* / * / *

Rodney tried, but failed, to remember a time when he had gone for so long on so little food and sleep. He hadn't even killed himself this much when he was handing up his thesis. He scrubbed his eyes with his hands as he double-timed it towards the chair room. He'd finished the bombs on time (He was a miracle worker!) and now they had to get the chair powered up. The alarms went off and he quickened his pace to a run. Even at a full out sprint he barely got there before John.

"McKay!" John shouted when nothing happened.

"Something's wrong," Rodney panicked. "Power levels are dropping."

"Rodney, nothing is happening," Radek shouted over the radio.

He was dying to scream "Not helpful Radek!" down the radio but he didn't have the time to spare to voice the thought.

"Why are there no jumpers in the air?" Elizabeth's voice filtered through to him.

"We must have exhausted the Mark II's energy output," Rodney exclaimed. "It's dead."

John was eerily silent for a few seconds, and then he said quietly, "So long Rodney."

And then he was gone. Rodney tried to call him back, but it was not use. Rodney spent the next few minutes trying to get the generator to work, but eventually gave up. The thing was completely dead.

He raced out of the control room, running at top speed. Through the windows of Atlantis, he could see Wraith beaming in all over the city. He saw Ford be surrounded, and cried out in anguish, but could do nothing to help. He was too far away.

He ran down the steps to the control room just as Carson was pushing people through the gate. He ran up towards the DHD.

"We can't stay here Elizabeth," he panted.

"He's right," Rodney chimed in, arriving a second after. "They're beaming in all over the place."

"You know, if this works, someone might have to do it again," John's voice filtered over the PA.

Rodney stared in horror at the computer screen even as Elizabeth said "Understood."

"You let John fly the jumper?" Rodney asked in horror as he watched the tiny blue dot on the screen get closer and closer to the ships.

"Help me arm the self destruct," Elizabeth told him, not answering his question. The anguish in her eyes spoke volumes.

"If Rodney's there, tell him I'm sorry and I love him," John's voice said. "They haven't detected my approach. The weapons are armed and ready. I'm going in."

* / * / *

Rodney couldn't tear his eyes away from the screen as he watched the blue dot that represented his soul-mate edge closer to the ships. He was rooted to the spot in shock.

"Wait, what's that?" Carson's voice tinged on the edges of his consciousness as the Scot pointed at the screen. A large blip was coming into range of the sensors and a new voice hailed them

"Atlantis, this is Colonel Steven Caldwell of the Daedalus. Can we be of assistance?"

Silence reigned for a moment, until Rodney shouted through the radio.

"Colonel, there's a cloaked Jumper heading straight for the hive ships. It has one of our men on board. Beam him out, now!"

"Get a lock Sergeant!" Rodney heard Caldwell bark the order to someone on the bridge.

"I can't get a lock!" a frantic male voice said.

"Try harder!" Rodney yelled. After a moment, the same voice said. "I have a lock. I'm beaming him out now." Then a few seconds later, another voice confirmed "Colonel Caldwell, we have him. He's alright."

Rodney slumped against the console in relief. Oh thank god! John was alive.

He was going to kill him!

* / * / *

On so many levels, John was happy to be alive.

But on other levels, he wished he'd died just so Rodney wouldn't kill him. He walked quickly up to the bridge through the ship, escorted by a random SF. When he reached the bridge, he saw that Rodney, Carson and Elizabeth had been beamed there already. When Rodney saw him, he strode across the bridge.

"I'm going to kill you!" he swore even as he grabbed John into a bone crushing hug.

Then he punched him

"So long Rodney? That's all I get?" he yelled. John staggered in place.

"I did what I had to do," he told him. Elizabeth coughed discreetly behind them.

"This isn't over Sheppard," Rodney promised as he walked back to the others, dragging John behind him.

It wasn't over. John knew he'd hurt Rodney badly by his short and not-sweet goodbye, but they had more important things to do first. They had a city to save.

* / * / *

It was over. The Wraith were gone. And thanks to some ingenious planning from Rodney (and a little bit of luck) they wouldn't be back for a long time. They were gone, but they weren't forgotten.

There had been severe damage to the city from the Wraith darts and weapons. They'd also lost a lot of good people. Himmerman, Roche, Yamato, Ford...

The loss of Ford deeply affected his teammates, especially Teyla. It would have been different if he'd been killed in the line of duty, but he'd been transformed into Super-Ford, who just happened to be psychotic. John and Rodney still hadn't worked everything out between them. But at the moment, they subscribed to the 'Thank God we're all alive' school of thought.

The survivors threw a party in celebration of their victory, and to commemorate their fallen comrades. It was basically an excuse to get rip-roaring drunk to try to forget the horrors of what they had seen.

Colonel Caldwell and the Daedalus crew joined in the celebrations, though not to the same extent as the original expedition team members. John looked around the crowded mess hall. People had dragged hundreds of chairs into the area and surrounding halls and were lounging around, drinking and toasting the dead. He spotted Rodney's still form slumped over the table where Caldwell sat with Elizabeth.

He made his unsteady way over to them, and sat down next to his lover. Elizabeth and Caldwell acknowledged him even as he laid his head on his arms next to Rodney. He felt an arm wrap itself around his waist and he leaned into Rodney. He didn't care that he was cuddling his love in front of his new CO. All he cared about was that Rodney was safe.

Rodney lifted his head and rested it on John's shoulder.

"Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey yourself," John replied. "You finally crashing?" Carson had given him dangerous levels of stimulants because he'd had no choice, and now, Rodney looked too tired to move.

"Mmm," Rodney confirmed. "Plus, you know, the alcohol is groovy," he whispered.

Groovy? John checked the cup in front of the scientist, and sniffed it. Whoa. That was strong stuff! It was Halling's latest brew, which John knew from experience could floor you after two cups.

"Go to bed Rodney, before you fall asleep and I have to carry you back," John ordered.

"Promises, promises," Rodney grinned, even as he stood. That he hadn't tried to argue with John told him just how tired he was. Rodney stretched when he stood, and looked around. Something in the corner caught his eye, and he nudged John.

"I think someone needs a friend," he commented, indicating to where Teyla was seated with her back against a wall. Her knees were drawn up and she was resting a cup of something alcoholic on them, but she wasn't drinking. She was staring into the depths of the cup as if it would reveal the mysteries of the universe.

As Rodney staggered off towards bed, John made his way over to Teyla. He slid down the wall to sit beside her, and she leaned against him almost immediately. He put an arm around her shoulders and held her as her shoulders shook in silent tears.

"He asked me to marry him," she whispered after a few moments. John was shocked. He knew they were involved, but he hadn't known they were that serious.

"I'm sorry Teyla," he told her sincerely. She clung to him as the sobs overtook her, but no one interrupted them. Everyone respected her too much to point out her pain.

* / * / *

John staggered to his bed a few hours later. God he was tired! He stripped and threw his clothes on the floor before crawling into bed beside Rodney.

"I could sleep for a week, "he murmured.

"I think I will," Rodney whispered back. He'd woken up when John had gotten into bed beside him, but he didn't mind. This way, he could entwine their fingers and hold John close. This way, he could be sure John was alive.

"You don't want to sleep for a week," John told him. "If you did, you'd miss our trip home."

"Oh, ok" Rodney agreed before his brain caught up with him. "Home?" he shouted. John just grinned at him.

"Yep, home. As in Earth. As in three weeks of R &amp; R on our home planet, starting in two days."

"Wow, home," Rodney mused as he settled against John. "I get to see Jeanie."

"We get to see Jeanie," John corrected.

"You want to meet my sister?" Rodney asked, delighted at the thought.

"Of course I do," John told him. "After all, she's practically my sister in law."

Rodney smiled sleepily at him as he settled against his chest.

"Home," he whispered.

John held Rodney close, as he loved to do, and he too fell asleep.


	6. Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John, Rodney and co head to Earth for a holiday, and run into Jason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

John hefted his backpack higher on his shoulder as he stood next to Rodney in front of the Stargate. He and several others, including Rodney, Elizabeth and Carson, were standing in the gateroom, preparing to go back to Earth. As the respective leaders of the military and science departments, John and Rodney needed to go back and brief the people at the SGC. They were spending a week in Colorado, and then... two weeks away from military restrictions and disapproving superior officers. (Caldwell had made it clear how strongly he objected to their relationship, and it hadn't been fun for the pair since the Daedalus' arrival.) The plan was to spend a few days with Jeannie in Canada, and then have some time to themselves.

Carson was required to return also, thought Elizabeth was dragging him kicking and screaming. He felt it was his duty to stay in the city and help the people that had been injured in the Wraith attack, but Elizabeth convinced him that he needed to talk to the geneticists about the Wraith and his gene therapy. Which was true, he did. Still, he'd get to see his mum, so it was worth it. Well, that and getting to spend time with Elizabeth away from the prying eyes of Atlantis

There were about twenty others traveling back to Earth, including several marines and various doctors. Caldwell scowled down at them from his position in the Control room.

"I'll see you in a few weeks," he told the group at large. He was bringing the Daedalus back to Earth to pick them up in three weeks. Until then, he was in charge of the city. "Dial it up," he ordered Chuck, the technician that had worked with Rodney during the siege and who was staying in the city to run the control room.

The gate whooshed open, and John suppressed the surge of excitement that ran through him. They were going back. Back to beer, hot-dogs, proper coffee and long nights of doing nothing but making love to Rodney. Reaching over, he squeezed his lover's hand briefly. Rodney looked at him, and John saw his own excitement reflected in the baby-blues. They grinned at each other, and were the first to step through the gate.

* / * / *

Traveling to a different galaxy through the gate was pretty much the same, except it took longer and you'd probably feel queasy after it. Rodney stumbled through the gate with John and shook his head to clear it. They quickly backed down to the end of the ramp and watched the others come through safely. When the wormhole disengaged, they turned around.

General Jack O'Neill was standing at the base of the ramp alongside SG1, and several other members of the SGC. (Including, to Rodney's amusement, their doctor. As if Carson would let them come through if they weren't up to it!) When everyone was orientated again, the entire gate-room erupted in applause. The SGC personnel clapped and whistled as the expedition members looked around in confusion.

"Welcome Home," Jack said, stepping forward. "The applause is for you," he explained before a very confused Elizabeth could speak. "You did a brilliant job. It's not every day that one single base survives an attack by several hive ships and tricks 'em so they wont be back for a while. Hence... the applause."

Rodney snorted in amusement, and the blonde Colonel Samantha Carter stepped forward.

"See you haven't changed much McKay," she observed. She held out her hand for him to shake and then hugged him lightly. Rodney started in surprise before hugging her back, much to John's annoyance.

"Welcome to the club McKay," Sam said. "You're one of us 'artists' now," she grinned.

"Alright people," Jack called everyone's attention to him. "First, Major Sheppard, Doctor Weir, I want to speak to you for a few minutes. It's half seven in the evening, so we'll get you situated for the night here."

John reluctantly left Rodney talking technobabble with Carter as followed Elizabeth to Jack's office."

"I mean what I said down there," Jack said, taking his seat. "You guys did good. Did great as a matter of fact."

"It wasn't easy," Elizabeth admitted as she sat down.

"Yes well, in honour of you're victory, there is a little party planned in O'Malley's tonight. You are all our special guests, and from the reports I've read, I can guess you need a chance to unwind."

"Ah, real beer," John mused, then blushed when he realised he'd said it out loud. The other occupants of the room were grinning.

"Yes well, there'll be plenty of that, let me assure you. Now, the reason I called you here was..." Jack seemed reluctant to speak. "Before you left, it was decided that Don't Ask, Don't Tell wouldn't count for your expedition." John and Elizabeth stiffened visibly at his words.

"I stand by what was agreed upon. No one will be in trouble for engaging in any relationship that could be against the regs. I'm not asking for names. All I'm asking for is that anyone in a relationship like that to be discreet. We can't have people asking why some marines are openly gay or bi, and not being discharged."

John relaxed at his words. They made sense, and John was thankful that they weren't being stabbed in the back. But then, he shouldn't have been worried about that, giving what Rodney had told him about the man.

"You don't need names?" he asked the General.

"Well, I'm not going to push for them but if you want to tell me, I'm not gonna stop you," Jack told him.

John smiled as he debated telling the General about him and Rodney. He was aware that the General knew his scientist from working with him, and didn't have a very good impression of him. Still, if Everett had reacted so amusingly and he hadn't even known Rodney....

Jack took a swig from the water bottle on his desk half a second before John decided.

"In the interests of honesty General," John told him, "I feel I should tell you that I'm in a relationship with Doctor McKay."

Jack choked on the water and John got pleasure from making *another* one of his CO's turn purple in the face when he told them. Elizabeth rushed to pound on the General's back while shooting death glares at John. The major just grinned and sat back watching the General get his breathing back under control.

"McKay?" he gasped. "Rodney McKay?"

"Yes," John rolled his eyes. "Why does everyone say that? Do you know another Dr. McKay?"

"Have you *met* McKay?" John fired back.

"Many, many times," John grinned while Jack pulled a face.

"Too much information Major," he grimaced.

"John," Elizabeth scolded but he was unrepentant. He loved shocking people, and seemingly the way to do that is to tell people who know Rodney that they're sleeping together.

"Well, that was unexpected," Jack said once he got his breathing back under control. John just grinned at him. "In that case Major, the rules apply to you. Please be discreet, ok?"

"Right. No feeling Rodney up in public. Got it, General," John told him, grinning cheekily. Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the amount of fun he was having.

"Yes, well, you're dismissed for the moment," Jack told them. "Go get some rest, make some calls, whatever you want to do. The party starts at 2200 hours. Attendance isn't mandatory, so you don't have to go, but we'd still like you all there. The first round is on the Air Force."

"Great," Elizabeth said, standing and smiling. "Well pass on the messages to the rest of the crew."

"You do that," Jack told her, shaking her hand. He turned to John. "Have fun Major," he smiled.

"I intent to," John smiled back at him. "Um sir?" he asked once Elizabeth had left.

"Yes?"

"I saw Rodney going off somewhere with Colonel Carter a little while ago. Can you show me to her lab? That's where they'd probably go." He tried hard to keep the insecurity out of his voice, but damnit, Rodney had waxed poetic about Carter brains, and beauty, and record, and John couldn't help feeling a little unsure of himself. He looked at the General, and saw understanding in the other man's eyes.

"Sure thing, I was actually on my way down there now. Carter's been working flat out the past few days, and I've gotta drag her out of there if she's going to make it home in time to change for tonight."

John grinned as they started walking.

"I've had to do the same to Rodney many a time myself General," John told him. "He just gets..."

"So wrapped up in his work that he forgets that sentient life actually exists outside of the lab?" Jack finished for him, laughing.

"Something like that. I was hoping he'd remember on his own one of these days."

"Wouldn't count on it," The General told him. "Hell, I've been doing it to Carter for years. I'd hoped once we moved in together, I wouldn't have to remind her to come home more often, but so far, no luck."

"Tell me about it. I mean, me and Rodney share quarters and... wait, did you say move in together?" John asked, stunned.

"Sure did," Jack grinned. "The President figured that since we've saved the world on a daily basis for the past eight, coming up on nine, years, then we deserve a little happiness. He bent the rules for us," Jack grinned.

"Congratulations Sir," John told him sincerely. For a moment, he was wondering why the General was telling him such private things about himself, but then it hit him. He had heard the uncertainty in his voice when he put Rodney and Carter in the same sentence, and this was his way of assuring John. John felt more relaxed around the General now for some reason. O'Neill was a good man, he reflected as they rounded the corridor to Colonel Carter's lab.

They smiled at each other as they approached the lab. The two scientists were bickering already, but it was in a mostly good-natured way. The two pilots peered in the open door and saw their scientists, side by side in front of a computer. Carter was imputing something into the computer, and Rodney was trying to override her.

"No!" he exclaimed. "If you put input it in that sequence, the entire power grid will shut down. No, if you do it this way..." he shoved Carter aside a little so he could reach more keys, and just before Carter hit him, Jack interrupted them.

"Now, now children. Play nice," he said. Rodney and Carter jumped a mile in the air.

"We didn't hear you coming," Carter gasped, her hand on her chest.

"I'm not surprised. The two of you were too busy trying to out smart the other."

Rodney harrumphed and Carter glared at John's scientist.

"If you can't play nice together, then I'm going to have to take your toys away," Jack joked, earning himself a glare from both his lover and from John's.

"Very funny Jack," Carter retorted. Rodney looked at her, confused.

"Jack?" he asked enquiringly. He glanced between the two of them, and noticed the rock on Carter's finger.

"Well, it's about damn time!" he exclaimed. John couldn't help but feel a little relieved. Carter looked at her engagement ring, and Rodney was treated to the sight of the unflappable Sam Carter blushing red to her roots as she glances at her fiancée.

"Could have put it a bit more tactfully Rodney," John observed from the doorway.

"What?" Rodney asked. "That's what everyone said once they found out about us... um... that is..." Rodney trailed off, sending John apologetic looks to John between uncomfortable ones to General O'Neill.

"Relax Rodney," John said, walking forward and placing a comforting arm around his shoulders. "He knows. I told him."

"He knows?" Sam interjected. "Knows what?"

"Knows about me and John. You're not the only one with an interesting love life," he told her smugly, and John rolled his eyes. Even at *this* he tried to outdo Colonel Carter.

Rodney turned back to John. "You told him? And you know... no court martial?"

"No court martial," Jack agreed from the doorway.

"Oh good, I'd hate to have to blow up any buildings to get you out of jail," Rodney told John seriously.

"So, as long as we're discreet, we're good to go," John laughed.

"Right, no feeling you up in public. Got it," Rodney grinned.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Do you guys share a brain, or something?" he asked.

"Or something," they both chorused.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Sam, I'm officially dragging you out of the lab for the day. You were planning to go to the party tonight, weren't you?"

"Sure am," Sam replied. "I'm looking forward to discussing some of Doctor McKay's more 'interesting' theories."

"I would try to make it an order for you not to talk shop talk tonight, but it would be pointless, wouldn't it?" Jack asked her.

"You know me so well," Sam told him, slipping an arm around his waist.

"Well, as lovely as this all is," Rodney said "If we are going o a party tonight and have to be discreet, then we need to... um... freshen up," he finished lamely, shooting pleading looks at John.

"Oh yeah," John chimed in. "We're very... unfresh. I think we should go... freshen..." he trailed off.

"Go, before you give me nightmares, ":Jack told them and he and his fiancée watched amusedly as Major Sheppard dragged Mackay from the labs towards the VIP quarters.

"Damn, talk about unwanted mental images," he muttered when they were out of ear shot.

"I think they're sweet together," Sam told him.

"You're just happy that McKay isn't drooling over you any more," Jack commented dryly.

"That too," she laughed. "Come on. If we hurry, we can get a steak at O'Malley's before the rest of them arrive," she told him, dragging the unresisting General in her wake.

* / * / *

Damnit, but O'Malley's served the best steak that Jason had eaten in a long time. He pushed back his plate, and sighed.

"Damn that was good," he said.

"Totally," his camera man Declan Hatcher agreed. "Best I've had in years."

The waitress approached when she saw that the four men were finished and took their plates, smiling.

"So, you think it's worth our time sticking around?" Dax Phillips asked as he took a sip of his beer.

"I think this story's got something to it," Jason told him, looking down at his notes.

He'd been contacted two weeks ago by someone looking for a good investigative reporter. After he and Declan had been injured in the Middle East, the team had been re-assigned to the States, and had carved out quite a name for themselves in the field of investigative journalism. The contact had heard of their reputation and asked to meet them here.

He'd been a respectable-looking man in his late fifties/early sixties. He hadn't told Jason his name, but had told him about his son. His son was a Marine stationed in a place called Cheyenne Mountain, and had been killed recently in an 'accident' in the complex. The Air Force had told him that it had been a lab accident, but his son's body had several large burns on it that didn't fit the description of the accident. They were like weapons injuries or something. He didn't believe the cover story. Since his son's death, he'd looked into Cheyenne Mountain, and had found out some interesting things which he shared with Jason. He was of the opinion that Cheyenne Mountain was a secret weapons facility, and while Jason usually didn't form opinions so early on, he was inclined to agree with him.

"I think we should stick around for a while; look into this."

"If we uncover a secret weapons facility or something even better, we'll have our choice of assignments," Ray commented as he drained his beer.

"Excellent," Dax smiled. "So, one more round before we hit the road and call the boss?" he asked.

"Sure," they all agreed. The waitress came over to them.

"Can I get you gents anything else?" she asked, smiling coyly at Dax.

"Sure thing, we'll have four more Budweiser's."

"Actually," Jason interrupted. "Make that three. I'll have a Molson."

The waitress looked at him in surprise.

"Do you have Molson?" he asked her.

"Yes, of course we do. It's just not many people ask for it. Only one other person ahs asked for it in the past two weeks," she told him, indicating to the large group of people in the back of the bar.

"Oh," Jason said, trying and failing to sound interested. The waitress flushed slightly and scurried away to get the drinks.

"I didn't know you drank Molson," Ray told him. "I tried it once myself, but it's too strong for me."

"Well, sometimes I drink it," Jason said. "Rodney loves it," he told them quietly.

His three friends regarded him quietly.

"You ok?" Declan asked him.

"I'm fine," Jason assured him. "I've just been thinking about him more recently for some reason. I can't explain it. It's as if he's in trouble, and I can feel his worry."

"Any luck in tracking him down?" Dax asked.

"Nope," Jason told him ruefully. "I've been looking for him for three years, but he's just not anywhere. It's like he's vanished off the face of the Earth." The other three clucked sympathetically.

Jason had been looking for Rodney ever since their disastrous argument three years ago, but he could never find him. They'd been sympathetic, especially when they had found out why they had broken up. It had been unnecessary. They'd figured he was gay from the way he had spoken about his *friend* Rodney, and it didn't bother them. It hadn't then, and it didn't now.

They were brought out of their musings by a loud cheer from towards the back of the restaurant/bar. Jason glared at the crowd of people obviously in the middle of a huge celebration. From the demeanor and hair styles of many of them, he figured them to be military.

Right now, one of them was standing up on a chair, screaming "I wanna propose a toast," on top of his lungs. The other patrons of the restaurant glared at him, and he lowered his voice a little. Jason and his friends could still hear him though from their table.

"Ok," the blond man said as he raised his glass high. "Firstly, to Major Sheppard. For risking his life for us all and nearly loosing it!" A cheer went up from the crowd and Jason could tell that pretty much everyone was drunk in that group.

He suddenly wished that Rodney was here. He'd always had a low opinion of the military. Neanderthals and grunts were the polite words he had often used to describe some of those he had worked with, and Jason could just imagine the dozens of scathing comments he'd have on this guy. He was probably a marine or a pilot or something. Maybe assigned to Cheyenne Mountain...

Maybe he could get something out of this guy when he was drunk. But wait, he was raising his glass again. The waitress returned with their beers and Jason took a drink as he watched the next toast.

"I know Doctor Z is back on... the base," he said and Jason's hopes were crushed. He was obviously in control enough not to give away the location of his base. Fuck it anyway. "But still, we've gotta toast him, and you, Doc," he gestured to someone in the crowd. He raised his glass high again.

"To Doctors Radek Zelenka and Rodney McKay, no one builds bombs like you guys!"

The rousing cheers of the group drowned out the choking sound that Jason was making as he spat up the mouthful of beer he'd just drunk.

"Tell me you heard that," he pleaded with his friends. "Tell me I didn't just imagine he said Rodney McKay."

"You're not imagining it," Dax assured him, a little stunned himself.

"Fuck. What do I do?" Jason asked them.

"You've been looking for him for three years, and you don't know what to do now you've caught up with him?" Ray asked incredulously.

"I didn't think I'd find him by accident. I thought I'd have time to prepare what I was going to say... to figure out how to apologise. Damnit, I'm shaking," he noticed as he took another swig of beer.

"Look, just relax," Ray told him. "Relax, ok? Just go over there and talk to him. He's still the same guy you knew back then."

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me?" Jason asked, calming himself.

"Just ask him if you can talk to him away from his friends. They look like a protective bunch," Ray commented, glancing at the group, many of which were going around hugging everyone. "We'll stay here and pay the cheque. If he comes over, we'll make ourselves scarce and meet you back at the hotel. If not, then we'll all go back together, ok?"

Jason seemed calmed by this plan of action, and nodded.

"Ok, here I go," he said, standing up.

"Good luck," his friends chorused, and he was grateful for their support.

He approached the group from the side. He saw Rodney chatting to a blond woman, gesturing expressively. She was nodding and interrupting him, waving her own hands around. Jason could see that they were in the middle of a good-natured debate, but he didn't care. He was drinking in the sight of Rodney.

Rodney had always been good looking. Alright, a little on the soft side, but that was all gone now. He was wearing a short sleeved blue shirt and black pants. The shirt accentuated the newly from muscles in his arms and the pants clung to rock hard thighs.

Jason felt his mouth water, even as he wondered what his former lover had been up to to develop such muscles. Rodney wasn't made for field work, so it wasn't that. What was it then?

"Excuse me," a voice interrupted his thoughts. A guy with messy black hair and a killer smile was standing in front of him.

"Huh?" Jason asked.

"I said excuse me. I need to get past you to get to the bar," Hot-Guy sad again.

"Oh, sorry," Jason absentmindedly moved to the side, and let him pass. Hot-Guy gave him a bewildered look, probably thinking he was drunk and went to join the long queue at the bar.

Gathering his courage, Jason stepped forward.

"Hey Rodney," he said. He could see Rodney freeze in shock, and slowly turn around to face him. For a brief moment, happiness warred with the surprise in his eyes, before the shutters came down.

"Jason," he greeted him coolly. Others in the group were staring at him now, and Jason felt uncomfortable under such scrutiny.

"Look, Rod, can I talk to you?" he asked.

"You sure you want to be seen with me?" Rodney asked snidely and Jason winced.

"Ok, I deserved that," he said. "Look, five minutes, that's all I ask."

"You want to talk, so talk," Rodney said.

"Can we just go over there, "Jason asked. "Away from all the nice people who work with guns for a living and are now glaring at me like thy want to kill me?"

Rodney smiled briefly at that.

"Five minutes, that's all I ask," Jason repeated.

"Fine, five minutes," Rodney conceded. He excused himself from the blond woman who was regarding Jason with open curiosity. Jason felt like doing a little dance of joy when Rodney followed him, but somehow restrained himself.

"Who was that?" Elizabeth asked Carson, who was frowning at the retreating pair. She wrapped an arm around him, and leaned in close. She had spoken to Simon briefly, and he'd been extremely rude to her, so she figured that they were pretty much over. She was glad to now be able to be open about her relationship with Carson, whom she loved so very much.

"That's Jason Watson," Carson told her grimly. "Rodney's ex."

"Bad break up?" she asked, reading the venom in his voice.

"That's putting it mildly," he told her. "He broke Rodney's heart. It took years for him to trust again, and now he has John. Jason better not do anything to disrupt those two, or he will answer to me!" he said with feeling. Elizabeth wasn't really surprised. Carson had been friends with Rodney for a lot longer than the others, and knew him well. He was fiercely protective of his friends, as she was.

"Let me know if you need an alibi," she whispered before she kissed his cheek. She smiled at her.

"God, I love you," he told her, and kissed her back.

* / * / *

Rodney was trying hard to keep outwardly calm when every fibre in his body was screaming with tension. Part of him wanted to run away, just grab John and run. Where was John? He looked around almost frantically for his lover, but didn't see him. He was probably still at the bar. Shit.

Another part of him wanted to punch Jason. Because of him, he'd spent so many years along, wondering what was wrong with him that made Jason act the way he did.

The other part of him wanted to hug him. Jason had been a good friend for a long time, and he was happy top see him.

Jason led him to a table where three other men were seated. Rodney recognised them from Jason's apartment years before, but for the life of him couldn't remember their names.

"Guys, you remember Rodney, don't you?" Jason said. They all greeted him, but Rodney only nodded briefly in acknowledgement.

"Oh, jeez, look at the time. We've gotta go," Dex?.... Dax?... something said. They rose and quickly made their exit. Jason gestured to one of the empty chairs, and sat in the opposite one.

"Great place isn't it?" he enthused. Rodney said nothing; just stared at him stonily from across the table. "So how have you been?" he tried again.

"Four minutes, forty five seconds," Rodney replied.

"Huh?"

"You've got four minutes, forty five seconds left. Oh look, make that thirty seconds. Start talking," Rodney told him, and Jason gulped. He certainly wasn't making this easy. 'And why should he?' a tiny voice in the back of his head asked. 'You hurt him a lot. Why should he make this easy on you?'

Jason took a deep breath.

"Look Rod," Jason began, but his former lover cut him off.

"Call me Rodney. Don't call me Rod," he told him.

"Alright then. Rodney, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Rodney told him blankly as he started to stand. "Can I go now?" he asked.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Jason grabbed Rodney's wrist to hold him. Rodney wrenched his wrist out of Jason's grasp, but he sat back down.

"Look, after our fight, I was pissed at you, for about ten minutes. Once I thought it out, I realised how fucking awful I was to you, and how wrong I was. But you were gone."

"Why didn't you call?" Rodney asked, for the first time showing emotion in his voice. Jason winced at the anguish and pain he heard.

"Rodney, I tried. But I didn't know where you were."

"Oh that's rich," Rodney snorted.

"It's true!" Jason insisted. "You weren't in your apartment any more. I couldn't find you!"

Rodney stared at him, before groaning and resting his head in his hand.

"I'd moved out of state," he realised. "I'd gotten re-assigned, and hadn't told you where I was yet. Damnit," he cursed silently.

"Yeah. I tried looking for you for years, but I never found you."

"I was in Russia," Rodney whispered. Jason stared at him in shock. Russia? Well, that was unexpected.

"I was just about ready to give up looking for you, when I came here to meet a source."

"Wait, you mean you've been looking for me for three years?"

"More or less," Jason told him. "I did several tours in the Middle East, but whenever I was home, I looked for you."

"You still love me," Rodney realised.

"Yes, I do," Jason told him, reaching across the table to grasp one of Rodney's hands. "Come on Rodney. You're the love of my life. I'll never love anyone the way I love you. Please. We've been given a second chance. Let's not waste it."

Rodney pulled his hand out from Jason's grip.

"I'm sorry Jason. You can't just say your sorry, and expect all to be forgiven. You hurt me so much. You broke me heart, and now you just want back in? I don't think so."

"Let me prove it to you Rodney. Let me prove how much you mean to me. Being together won't be an issue. I'm out Rodney. Everyone in work knows, and they don't care."

"I'm sorry, I can't." Rodney told him. "Besides, I'm seeing someone else."

Jason sat back dejectedly. "I'm sorry," Rodney whispered.

"So am I," Jason said. "Rodney, you were my best friend for years. Please, I understand that you're with someone else now. I respect that. But can't we at least be civil to each other?"

"I suppose so," Rodney conceded.

"Look, I'm in town for a while working on a story. Can we meet up once or twice, just to catch up? Please? I don't want to lose you completely. I've missed you. If I can't have you as a lover, can I at least have you as a friend?" He held out his hand to Rodney. The scientist stared at it for a moment, before shaking it.

"I've missed you too," he told Jason. "We can meet, as friends."

"Excellent!" Jason beamed. He scribbled down his cell number on a napkin. "Call me tomorrow, ok? Enjoy the rest of your party."

He dashed forward and gave Rodney a brief hug.

"Talk to you soon," he said, before turning and walking out. Rodney stared at the number in his hand for a moment, until he felt a warm and familiar hand on his shoulder.

"You ok?" John asked quietly. John had returned from the bar only to be told by Carson that they guy who'd been blocking his path was Rodney's ex, Jason. The love of his life... before himself of course. John had wanted to storm over and drag Rodney away before that son-of-a-bitch could hurt his lover again, but Carson held him back. As soon as they stood, John had started making his way over.

"That was Jason," Rodney whispered brokenly. He looked so hurt that John wanted to just pound Jason Watson into a pulp.

"I know, and I want nothing more than to hold you right now. But I can't, not with everyone watching," John told him. He threw a friendly arm around Rodney's shoulders. "Come on, lets go get stinking drunk on *real* alcohol!"

"And tomorrow, we'll get rid of our hangovers by drinking *real* coffee," Rodney smiled at him, though it was a much watered down smile.

"That's my boy," John murmured as he led his lover back to the party.

Rodney tried to get back in the party mood, he really did. But half an hour later, he called it quits. His mind was working overtime and he just couldn't relax. John insisted on returning to the base with him, but Rodney didn't mind. He had to talk to someone about what Jason had said, and he wanted it to be John. He wanted no secrets between them.

Later that night, when they were wrapped around each other in one of the VIP quarters in Cheyenne Mountain, Rodney told John everything Jason had said.

John didn't say much, just assured his lover that he was fine about him meeting Jason. He trusted Rodney.

He didn't trust Jason though. He'd seen the way his eyes had devoured Rodney and he was not amused.

He'd have to keep an eye on the journalist.

* / * / *

Jason strolled in to his hotel room, a slight smile on his face.

"Man, we were just about to send out a search party," Declan told him from his position in front of the TV. Jason was gratified to see that his three friends had waited up for him, and grinned as he likened them to sixteen year old girls staying up to hear the gossip.

"Everything go ok?" Ray asked.

"I talked to him," he told them happily. "I talked to him!!!!"

"We know, we saw," Dax commented wryly. "What did he say?"

"I told him what happened, and he said he understood."

"Are you seeing him again before we leave?" Ray asked.

"I am," Jason beamed. "He's calling me tomorrow. Damn, but he looked good! I'd forgotten how blue his eyes were."

"Are you going to get back together?" Declan asked. Jason frowned a bit at that.

"Well, I have to give him time. He said he was seeing someone else, but I don't believe him."

"Why not? Maybe he is seeing someone else," Ray pointed out.

"Nah, I don't think so," Jason said. "He said it as almost an after thought. Besides, where is he going to find someone on a US Military base? Nah, I hurt him, and I hurt his pride. Once he's forgiven me for that, you'll see. He'll want to get back together. Maybe, I can convince him to come back to New York with us."

"Whoa, slow down Jason," Dax warned. "You're taking a lot on faith here. How do you know he'll want to get back together with you? Or even move back?"

"Trust me," Jason smiled. "I've gotten a second chance with him. I'm not going to lose him again. Rodney McKay will be mine again."

* / * / *


	7. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason discovers that Rodney works a the SGC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Dislcaimer:** I don't own these characters and am making no profit from this endeavour. No copyright infringment intended.
> 
> Orinally posted on Wraithbait beginning on 07/07/2005
> 
> Slight crossover with SG1 in later chapters.
> 
> Spoilers for complete first series.
> 
> **_NOTE!!!_**  
> This piece is a work in progress, and due to moving on to different fandoms, is unlikely to be finished in the near future. Just so you are aware before you start reading.

ohn's alarm beeped, waking him from a deep sleep. Rodney just grumbled and shoved his head under his pillow, and John blinked to adjust his eyes to the darkness.

Why was the alarm going off? It was still night time. The sun wasn't even up yet. He lifted his head and leaned over Rodney's shoulder to look out the window, but saw only darkness. It took him a moment to realise that he was twenty five stories below ground, in the SGC, and therefore, the room was windowless. He gently shook his lover awake.

"Come on. We've gotta get up," he said when Rodney groaned and tried to burrow his way under John.

"It's still dark out," the physicist complained.

"We're underground Idiot," John told him affectionately, swearing there and then never to admit that he'd been a little disorientated too at first.

"Ah yes, the sign of true love," Rodney grumbled as he sat up. "Childish name calling. Be still my heart," he muttered as he stood and stretched. "What time is it?" he asked.

"06.30," John told him.

"What?" Rodney squawked in indignation. "Half six? In the a.m.? I'm going back to bed," he pronounced, making a dive for the bedclothes. John grabbed him around the waist and dragged him away from the bed.

"Why do we have to get up this early anyway?" Rodney huffed. "Our meetings don't start until 9.00 a.m. We have another hour's sleep at least."

"Because General O'Neill told us to be discreet, on base and off," John reminded him as he stepped into the shower in the adjoining bathroom, "and I don't think me stumbling out of your room into a crowded hallway at 9.00 a.m. is the way to go about it. So, if I have to be up, you do too," John called out to him from the shower stall. The last remark was accompanied by a cheeky grin, Rodney just *knew* it.

He rolled his eyes and continued mumbling under his breath, but it was good natured. He understood were John was coming from. Usually, if one of them was up first, then he'd let the other sleep for as long as he needed to. But since they'd nearly lost each other during the attack, they both wanted to spend every waking moment together. So he didn't really mind getting up early for John, though he would never admit it out loud.

John hopped out of the shower, full of energy as Rodney gave him a withering look when he came out to get dressed. He went into the bathroom himself as John dressed quickly.

"Come on, they'll have fresh coffee in the commissary," John leaned against the door of the bathroom and shouted in once he'd dressed. "And croissants. I know how much you love them fresh."

"The coffee on the base is nothing more that strong water!" Rodney protested from the shower stall. "Dr. Jackson has his own stash, but I'd rather take on an armed Wraith with a toothbrush than try to get some of his. I'd loose appendages."

"And we can't have that," John smirked. "Though, Steve and Bob could have done with trip to the dentist. They were scary! Guess 'Scary-Ass-Bad-Guys-R-Us' doesn't have a good dental plan. So, what's on your agenda for today?" he asked as Rodney came out, a towel wrapped around his waist.

"Same as you I guess. Meetings most of the day. Well, we'll be in the same one at 9.00, cos we were both there for the attack. I guess it's the same for Elizabeth and Carson. And this afternoon, I have several meetings with Colonel Carter and the rest of the Scientists."

"Fan club, huh?" John smirked.

"Something like that," Rodney grinned. "General O'Neill will keep you sequestered in with the rest of the military big-wigs for a while for the in depth stuff."

"Yep," John grinned. "He already told me not to make plans for lunch. That they'd order in. I guess I won't see you until diner then."

"Yeah," Rodney agreed. "Maybe I'll call Jason and meet him for lunch."

John stiffened at the mention of Jason's name.

"What?" Rodney asked.

"You're meeting him today?" John asked.

"Well, we have not set plans. I just thought I'd call him to make sure he's free. You know, catch up." John nodded, but his face was set in a scowl.

"What's that face for?" Rodney asked, his arms crossed. "Is it because I'm meeting Jason?"

"Well..."

"Damnit John! We discussed this last night!"

"Look at it my way Rodney, just for a minute please? This is the guy who you once were convinced you were going to be spending the rest of your life with. He broke your heart, and now he wants you back. He said so to your face. Now, imagine if it was the other way around. You would not be at all happy? Look, I'm sorry. I just don't trust him Rodney."

Rodney sighed. "I understand John, I really do. But even if you don't trust him, you have to trust me! I'd never do anything to hurt you. Yes, Jason broke my heart, and it took me a long time to get over it. But I'm with you now, and I love you."

He wrapped John in a hug. John wanted to stay mad, but he couldn't be angry at open and romantic Rodney. He never could. It wasn't often that he bared his soul like this.

"Ok. If you want to meet him, I won't complain," John told him, hugging him back. 'Doesn't mean I have to like it,' he added silently.

* / * / *

Jason woke up feeling better than he had in years. He had dreamed of Rodney; big surprise there. Seeing him again had been a shock, but a good one. He knew how much they had meant to each other, and was determined to get Rodney back.

He bounced out of bed and over to the coffee maker.

"Someone's in a good mood," Declan observed from the table. The rest of the team was sitting drinking coffee while Jason hummed as he drank.

"And with good reason," Jason told them. They really couldn't argue with that.

"Well, if you can tear yourself from thoughts of your boy, you wanna pitch in?" Dex asked, indicating to the table. The notes from the night before were spread out on the table, and Dec, Declan and Ray were picking over them.

"What do we have?" Jason asked, joining the table.

"Well," Ray began, "Cheyenne Mountain is also known as NORAD. And they do tours of the top level. No classified information is given out, of course, but still..."

"It could be useful," Jason finished for him.

"We called and booked two places for this morning at eleven. Declan and I will go," Dex told him. "We'll scope out the place; the layout, doors, that kind of thing. You two can go in once we've done that. I've booked in two more places for tomorrow. Maybe you can use what we find out to do a little digging."

"Sounds like a plan," Jason said. "We'll get onto some people in the Defence Department; see what we can find out. I'm guessing it's not going to be much though."

"Yeah, this place has more security than the Pentagon," Ray told them.

"Come on, we'd better go if we're going to make the tour," Dex said, and he and Declan stood.

"Ok, take notes," Jason advised them. "Ok Ray, how about we start with Ross Bright. He's always good for information..."

* / * / *

NORAD was impressive, Declan had to admit it. He didn't like the military, as he had spent years in war zones, filming scenes of chaos and destruction, and therefore was a pacifist at heart. Anyone who saw a child crying beside their parent's dead body had to be a pacifist, or they had no soul.

They were checked thoroughly by the guards at the entrance. They weren't allowed bring recording equipment into the facility, but when Jason had said to bring notes, he'd been joking. They all had excellent memories; trained for years in combat areas to notice the slightest detail, the slightest movement. They could easily remember the layout of the area for later.

It was an interesting tour. According to the guides, they studied Deep Space Radar Telemetry in the facility.

Yeah right.

Oh, Declan was sure that they used those big satellites they were shown the slide show. He just wasn't sure what they used them for. Covert intelligence? Espionage?

By the end of the tour, they knew no more than they wouldn't have if they had read the brochure. They were leaving with the crowd when Dex pulled him aside.

"Dec, look at that!" he exclaimed, pointing to the entrance. Coming towards the security desk at the entrance, carrying a cardboard holder of coffee cups, was one Dr. Rodney McKay. They looked at each other in surprise. They weren't expecting that! Keeping in the group, they edged nearer the entrance in an attempt to hear what was going on.

"Hey Dr. McKay," the guard said.

"Hey yourself Lieutenant Kent. How're the rugrats?"

"Shooting up," the Lieutenant grinned as Rodney signed in. "It's good to see you back again Sir. It's been a while."

"Yes well, it's been busy, as I'm sure you know."

"That I do sir. Say, they're three nice cups of coffee you have there," he said.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes, one of them is for you Lieutenant. I saw you on the gate and knew if I came back without a cup of PROPER coffee for you, you wouldn't let me back in."

"You know me so well sir," Kent said, sipping from the cup.

The last few times that he'd been stationed in the mountain, Rodney escaped to get 'proper' coffee as much as he could from the cafe nearby. On one particularly cold day, Lieutenant Kent had been stomping his feet in an attempt to keep the warmth in when Rodney had gone for coffee. It had shocked Kent to the core when the man that people said was the epitome of the word asshole handed him the cup of steaming hot cup of coffee.

"For you," he'd said. "So you don't freeze and die and let and armed Goa'uld out of the base." He'd just walked in, leaving the shocked Lieutenant Kent in his wake. Ever since then, whenever Kent was on guard duty and McKay was on a coffee run, he brought back an extra cup for him.

"Thanks for this sir," Lieutenant Kent said as Rodney signed in. "Who's the other cup for?" he asked.

"If you must be so nosey, " Rodney rolled his eyes, "It's for Major Sheppard. We deserve all the caffeine we can get after the last mission. Now, remember..."

"If I tell anyone you bring me coffee, you'll make me so sorry that my grandchildren will still be paying," Kent finished with a laugh. "Don't worry. I won't let it slip that you're a nice guy."

"I'm not a nice guy," Rodney retorted. "I just have moments of weakness."

Kent laughed. "See you Sir."

Rodney walked through, past the group of tourists with a scathing look in their direction. He didn't see Declan and Dex, who shrank into the crowd when he passed by them. They made their way out to the car park in silence and got in the car.

"That was..." Dex began.

"Yep," Declan finished for him.

"And he works..."

"Yep."

"Bags not telling Jason that his boyfriend works for the place we're investigating."

"You bags? What are you? Twelve?"

"You're just mad you didn't think of it first."

"True. Goddamnit!"

* / * / *

"Hey guys," Jason smiled when they got back to the hotel room.

"Hey," Dex answered. "What did you find out?" he asked. The papers on the table had tripled in the few hours since they were gone.

"I hacked into the requisition files for the base," Ray told them. "It was hard, let me tell you. The infirmary gets the same supplies that combat surgeries in war zones do. That's all we've gotten so far. It took us that long to get that much."

"So, what do you want to do now?" Ray asked.

"Well, you guys can do whatever you want for a few hours. I've got a lunch date," Jason told them smugly.

"Rodney McKay?" Declan asked.

"None other," Jason beamed. "He rang me a few hours ago. We're meeting at a little café. He seems very familiar with the town. Anyway, before I go, did you find out anything interesting in NORAD?"

"Oh we found out plenty," Declan said. "Um, Jay? What do you know about Rodney's current assignment?"

"Not a lot. He works in highly classified areas. He would never even breathe a word of what he did or where he went, even when we were together. Why do you want to know?" Jason asked, confused.

"Because he was there, in NORAD."

"He was on the tour?"

"No, he was there, as in working there. Look, we were leaving and he was coming in. He just flashed his I.D. and they let him in; not trouble. He's working there. He's involved with... this all." Declan said, indicating to the papers that littered the table.

"Well, he is a physicist. Perhaps analyzing something," Jason said, sounding unsure himself.

"I don't know," Dex said. "From what we heard, he sounded pretty involved in whatever's going on down there."

"Well, whatever he's doing there, for the moment, I don't care," Jason told them, shrugging on his coat. "When I get back, I can think about this and where he fits into all of this. But for now, I'm just going to meet my ex for lunch and perhaps to talk him into coming back to me."

He walked out, leaving his three friends staring in his wake.

"Single minded, ain't he?" Ray commented. The other two had to heartily agree.


End file.
